kore_logs | Would you please forgive me? For while I cannot love myself, I'll use something else.

Who: Castiel and OPEN
Where: Near the bar
When: day 47
What: Gettin' drunk, bein' pissy
Warnings: Other than drinking, probably none, but it may depend on the thread.

Castiel had been worried enough about Lucifer and then Crowley when he'd only had Meg to worry about. Now that Dean was back, he was even more concerned. Dean could hold his own against a lot of powerful creatures, but Lucifer was a whole new level and Crowley wasn't exactly easy to pick off. They needed to plan some sort of defensive strategy.

He'd gone looking for Dean in the obvious location. Before, Dean had spent a good deal of his time in the bar and so Castiel had gone there to find him. Finding the bar empty, he had gone for what he recognized to be one of Dean's favored drinks. Surely, he only had to wait and Dean would show up eventually. It was easier than running all over the town where Crowley might spot him. There were easier ways to locate Dean, but maybe Castiel wanted to nurse a little self-pity. Balthazar and Sam were still missing and Dean was... well, he was better, but he was different and he didn't remember. What if they kept making him forget?

Several hours later, he found himself leaving the bar alone. He wasn't as drunk as he'd been in the past, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling it.

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Killing Meg was about the furthest thing from his mind. She was his friend and there wasn't much she could do to change that. He didn't think she would turn on Sam and Dean and that was most of that list.

"If you were trying to comfort me, you failed." Even Castiel was having a hard time not antagonizing Lucifer. "I should teach you both banishing sigils."

"Look, Cas. I get it, he's your friend and you want to keep him safe. But he's a big boy, he can take care of himself. Don't go get yourself killed by Lucifer just to try and protect a Winchester." Then again, asking Cas not to die for a Winchester was like asking a dog not to dig up your garden, or asking a bird not to poop on your car as soon as you've waxed it.

"We lie low, we stay off Lucifer's radar and we make sure that the idiot Winchester does the same."

Castiel sighs. She's right and he really should listen to her more. Scraping by and staying alive is something she's exceptionally good with.

"I still think a few sigils could be useful. If something happens, at least you can buy time."

She's a demon, of course she's good at hiding at staying alive. Sure, her life isn't always glamorous, but at least she's surviving. Which, given the circumstances is more than most people can ask for.

"If it makes you happy, you can finger paint on the walls, Feathers."

With a shake of his head, he laughs. "I don't really want to leave banishing sigils painted around the house I live in." And how strange that he lives in a house now. He's still not sure what to do with that.

"I'll show you what it looks like, though." He pulls his tie loose and starts to unbutton his shirt.

"Easy there, Tiger. Let's try and keep our clothes on in public." Not that she has a problem with public indecency, far from it, in fact. But still, she'd rather Cas keeps his clothes on where people can see.

"Why don't we take your little strip tease back to the house..."

He gives her an impatient look and grabs for her arm, intending to bring them both back to their living room. He doesn't see what the big deal is with removing his shirt, though. It's just a shirt and he doesn't share those particular hangups with humans, anyway. He's surprised that she does.

She'd just rather avoid having the angel brigade and Dean on her case and accusing her of taking advantage of poor little Castiel in the street - especially since there is no advantage taking going on. She'd rather avoid any messy misunderstandings.

The living room is much safer.

"So, care to tell me why you're stripping, Feathers?"

He unbuttons his shirt hastily. "I have the sigil on my chest."

Pushing the shirt open, he reveals a series of fading scars on his chest. He'd never thought to heal them more than this. They're a reminder of what he's been through and what he's done, both the good and bad. He hadn't known if he was even going to survive what he was doing when he'd carved them.

That... is not what Meg is expecting. She didn't even know you could scar an angel - well, there was her lesson for the day - as they say, you learn something new every day.

She has to fight down the urge to reach out and touch, because damn it, they are not the touchy feely types of people. "Jesus, Cas... You didn't think to maybe use a wall or something?" To be honest, she isn't sure if he did it to himself or if someone else did it to him, and she's not so sure she wants the answer because if it was someone else she'll want their head on a silver platter...

Castiel probably wouldn't mind if she touched a little, though that isn't exactly on his mind at the moment. He doesn't touch very much, but he does understand touch. He knows that when Dean claps him on the shoulder, he always feels included in something and he knows that when he'd kissed Meg, he'd enjoyed it perhaps more than the situation warranted. Other than Daphne, he hasn't exactly done a lot of kissing since then.

"It had to be portable and done in blood." He shakes his head. "It should banish nearby angels. You should know how to do that, just in case."

The longer she stares at the intricate scarring, the more inclined she is to reach out and touch. It's a weakness, alright? Most girls go crazy over shoes and handbags, Meg has an angel. Same thing, right? In fact, she's not even going to try and justify her thoughts as she traces a finger along the scar lightly. If he asks, she'll insist it helps her to memorise the pattern. The same way a child writes their alphabet over and over again.

"But it'll banish you too, right?"

His eyes follow her finger and his head tips down to watching as she traces the shape with interest. No one's ever touched him like this except for Daphne and that hadn't even really been him.

He knows Meg doesn't mean it like that. She puts up a front, but that's all that it is. That doesn't stop his mind from wandering a little to their kiss. It's good that angels don't really blush easily.

Her finger lingers on his skin for longer than is strictly necessary. She pulls her hand away with a jerk and quickly distracts herself by finding a pen and paper. She sketches the sigil quickly and holds it up to show him.

"Got it. So now you better be on your best behaviour, Clarence, or I'll banish you to the other side of the cape."

He smiles at the drawing, not bothering to close his shirt. "I don't think you'd do that unless I really deserved it." And he doesn't intend to do anything to warrant that.

She looked out for him for too long to want to hurt him now. He thinks he's probably a little more... fond of her than she is of him, but that's fine. He knows that she likes him at least a little, even if she wants to pretend that she doesn't.

She happens to be pretty damn fond of him too, and she really doesn't like it. She's not even entirely sure when it happened. But somewhere along the line her mindset had altered from 'gee, an angel would be a really useful weapon to have' to 'if anyone messes with my angel I shall murder them'. It brings about a lot of troubling feelings - feelings that she hasn't felt in a long, long time, probably not since she was human.

And running from them is a lot easier than dealing with them. "Well, Feathers, as exciting as this Angel 411 has been, and the additional strip tease was appreciated. I'm going to turn in for the night. If you need me you know where to find me."

"Goodnight, Meg." He shakes his head and tries not to read into what she says. She's just teasing him, even if he'd like it to be more than that.

He almost tells her that he'll watch over her, but he stops himself. Her response will likely be even more annoyed than Dean's and she should know by now that he's watching over her, anyway. He just smiles after her, instead.

Would you please forgive me? For while I cannot love myself, I'll use something else.

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(Trigger Warning for scars coming up)

All the warnings :( poor bb

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