Ned hadn't been frightened of the wolf, but this is different. This is Jesse getting angry, Jesse snarling, Jesse moving into his space. For a second, Ned is certain Jesse's going to attack him, hurt him. He thinks that he should have just kept his fucking mouth shut. Of course Jesse was going to react this way. Ned is just some person throwing accusations at his boyfriend.
The sleep deprivation and the almost constant-peril of the last few days are conspiring to make Ned paranoid and borderline histrionic. He thinks that at least now he is going to learn from his mistake. Now Ned knows that being honest with Jesse while he's this wolf-thing isn't safe. That he was wrong to trust him.
Somewhere beneath all the fear, he starts to feel anger boiling. It's not his fault Galen attacked him while he was sleeping. It's not his fault Jesse can't control his temper. But that doesn't matter, because he's just the guy who makes flowers with his hands, and that isn't going to win him any fights.
When Jesse apologizes and pulls away, Ned doesn't know what to do. What will make Jesse more likely to get violent: explaining, or refusing to answer. Eventually he decides the latter and says, "H-he was in the nightmare. I saw him there. And then when I woke up he was in my room, kind of p-pinning me down and... t-touching my face and my hair I guess. Then he saw I was awake and disappeared in a puff of weird smoke." Ned doesn't think it's a good idea to mention how close he'd gotten, how he seemed to be feeding, to be enjoying all that fear.
Now that he's said this much, before Jesse can ask him anything more, Ned tries to mitigate the damage, to placate him. "I'm sorry, I s-shouldn't've brought it up, just... just pretend I didn't say anything, okay, it's not a big deal, I won't tell anyone else, and I'm not coming b-back there anytime soon so it's not a problem."
no subject
The sleep deprivation and the almost constant-peril of the last few days are conspiring to make Ned paranoid and borderline histrionic. He thinks that at least now he is going to learn from his mistake. Now Ned knows that being honest with Jesse while he's this wolf-thing isn't safe. That he was wrong to trust him.
Somewhere beneath all the fear, he starts to feel anger boiling. It's not his fault Galen attacked him while he was sleeping. It's not his fault Jesse can't control his temper. But that doesn't matter, because he's just the guy who makes flowers with his hands, and that isn't going to win him any fights.
When Jesse apologizes and pulls away, Ned doesn't know what to do. What will make Jesse more likely to get violent: explaining, or refusing to answer. Eventually he decides the latter and says, "H-he was in the nightmare. I saw him there. And then when I woke up he was in my room, kind of p-pinning me down and... t-touching my face and my hair I guess. Then he saw I was awake and disappeared in a puff of weird smoke." Ned doesn't think it's a good idea to mention how close he'd gotten, how he seemed to be feeding, to be enjoying all that fear.
Now that he's said this much, before Jesse can ask him anything more, Ned tries to mitigate the damage, to placate him. "I'm sorry, I s-shouldn't've brought it up, just... just pretend I didn't say anything, okay, it's not a big deal, I won't tell anyone else, and I'm not coming b-back there anytime soon so it's not a problem."