"I'm...damaged." He grimaces slightly, because as little as he likes to phrase it that way, that's more or less the official Heavenly line on angels who leave home to give free will a go. Even Castiel said it once, that he might have gone insane.

Insane for angels isn't the same as for humans, of course.

"I don't know, Riley. I'm disobedient, and I've done a number of things I'm not proud of. I wouldn't say I'm nice. I just...tend to put people before ideology. Even before obedience to God. That's not normal, for an angel."

"I was a good soldier, originally. Loyal. Trustworthy." He shrugs. "Now I'm a drunk with a garden. You tell me whether that's an upgrade or not. I genuinely don't know."