He sees the scene through Raphael's eyes, helpless to alter the outcome, and helpless to look away. It's a nightmare; if Balthazar had to pinpoint the exact moment it all became too much, the moment he gave up, it would be the split second in time when he felt Castiel's Grace forcibly released.
Maybe that would be an oversimplification. But there's no doubt this hurts, and he would give anything to forget it ever happened.
Raphael may not be aware of the little brother riding his memories, struggling desperately as the moment he can't stand to see hurtles closer. But even through his silent cries of NO, Balthazar can sense something in Raphael he never expected.
Reluctance.
Maybe even a precursor to doubt.
He can't think on it long. Castiel explodes in a shower of light and gore, and Balthazar screams.
The next thing he knows, he's huddled on the floor, fully corporeal, as if he's somehow taken the place of the dream-Chuck. Shaken, he covers his face with both hands, too shattered to notice whether Raphael is still there.
no subject
Maybe that would be an oversimplification. But there's no doubt this hurts, and he would give anything to forget it ever happened.
Raphael may not be aware of the little brother riding his memories, struggling desperately as the moment he can't stand to see hurtles closer. But even through his silent cries of NO, Balthazar can sense something in Raphael he never expected.
Reluctance.
Maybe even a precursor to doubt.
He can't think on it long. Castiel explodes in a shower of light and gore, and Balthazar screams.
The next thing he knows, he's huddled on the floor, fully corporeal, as if he's somehow taken the place of the dream-Chuck. Shaken, he covers his face with both hands, too shattered to notice whether Raphael is still there.