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Entry tags:
likes and dislikes have nothing to do with it
Who: Dean and Meg, Dean and Cas
When: Day 100 (backdated slightly, before he runs into Sam)
Where: Their house
What: Dean finally deals with some of the emotional fallout over the demon trap mess with Ellen.
Three days later, it still hurts like hell to think about what happened. He understands everyone's point of view on this, and that's not something he's been able to say a lot. Usually he can hop on one side or the other, take a stand, but he can't on this and that's eating him up too. Meg's a demon. She had a hand in killing Jo and Ellen, and she's done plenty of other shitty stuff too.
But she took care of Cas and she helped them escape Crowley, and Dean's got a vampire best friend in purgatory, and he's got feelings for the guy who cracked open purgatory and let out all the leviathans. On top of busting Sam's wall to block out his memories from hell. And maybe it's Dean's fault Jo and Ellen died too.
He misses when things were black and white, but he does know one thing that's still black and white: he doesn't want anyone else he cares about to die. He's done losing people who's important to him. Back home, Meg died and he didn't really shed much of a tear or even lift a finger to help, but she helped them. For no other reason except she wanted to, believed in them, believed in Cas.
He doesn't want to stand by and watch someone else kill Meg, or let her suffer.
And then that leaves him with letting Jo and Ellen down. He has no idea how he can explain any of this, but he's pretty sure it wouldn't matter at all.
He feels guilty hiding in their house, but he also likes being in it. It means being around people he's pretty sure at least still like him as much as they did before. So he's in the living room and reading because no one should let it be said Dean Winchester doesn't read. And it's not even a romance novel. It's Kurt Vonnegut. So there.
When: Day 100 (backdated slightly, before he runs into Sam)
Where: Their house
What: Dean finally deals with some of the emotional fallout over the demon trap mess with Ellen.
Three days later, it still hurts like hell to think about what happened. He understands everyone's point of view on this, and that's not something he's been able to say a lot. Usually he can hop on one side or the other, take a stand, but he can't on this and that's eating him up too. Meg's a demon. She had a hand in killing Jo and Ellen, and she's done plenty of other shitty stuff too.
But she took care of Cas and she helped them escape Crowley, and Dean's got a vampire best friend in purgatory, and he's got feelings for the guy who cracked open purgatory and let out all the leviathans. On top of busting Sam's wall to block out his memories from hell. And maybe it's Dean's fault Jo and Ellen died too.
He misses when things were black and white, but he does know one thing that's still black and white: he doesn't want anyone else he cares about to die. He's done losing people who's important to him. Back home, Meg died and he didn't really shed much of a tear or even lift a finger to help, but she helped them. For no other reason except she wanted to, believed in them, believed in Cas.
He doesn't want to stand by and watch someone else kill Meg, or let her suffer.
And then that leaves him with letting Jo and Ellen down. He has no idea how he can explain any of this, but he's pretty sure it wouldn't matter at all.
He feels guilty hiding in their house, but he also likes being in it. It means being around people he's pretty sure at least still like him as much as they did before. So he's in the living room and reading because no one should let it be said Dean Winchester doesn't read. And it's not even a romance novel. It's Kurt Vonnegut. So there.