"I don't think anyone's gonna take offence to your diet here, sugar. Don't know if you noticed, but it isn't just processed foods we're getting short on."

And, well, he really should be doing something to help with that. For the moment he's hesitant to - he doesn't want the entire community relying on him to feed the five thousand or whatever - but he tells himself he will if the food situation gets really dire.

"The story? Frankly I'm surprised you haven't at least heard of it, but if you're really serious... well - the way the Bible tells it, the world was once overrun by giant talking apples. Once God created Mankind, there wasn't enough space for two master species, so Satan recruited the apples - and a rather impressive warrior race of carrots - to help him oppress the humans. Long story short, there was mortal combat between man and fruit for ... oooh, millenia, I'd say. Nowadays humans show their dominance by eating the inanimate descendants of their former enemies, but personally I think they're getting complacent. Might not be long now before the grocery aisles rise up in defiance and the whole thing starts all over again."