kore_logs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Donna and Crowley
What: Finally getting around to welcoming her new housemate.
When: Day 50
Where: House 2
Warnings: Will update as necessary.

So, Donna was aware she had a new housemate. It was kind of exciting. After all, she had been living all alone in this place since she first arrived. And so far there had been no arguments over bedrooms or bathrooms, or her panties drying around the house - there was still time though...

Course, if she and Crowley were going to be housemates, then getting to know each other was definitely on the cards. Who wanted to live with a total stranger? Not her, that was for sure. What if he turned out to be an axe murdered or something?

"Should've known you couldn't resist the offer of good tea. Must admit, didn't expect you to move in just for the tea though."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Crowley was hoping to avoid this. Yes, he had a roommate, it was all very college-y but if he played his cards right, did he have to see her? Or spend time with her? Sharing rooms only appealed to him if the person was right and really, she wasn't bad but she wasn't interesting enough. Honestly, he had no desire in spending time with another brainless moron that just sort of mingled around this place, accepting their fate. It was pathetic.

However, no matter how often he spent in the bar and how long he lingered outdoors, he couldn't avoid her forever. All he'd wanted to do was sit back and contemplate the next move when she came along and-- well, that began the ill-fated bonding.

Crowley looked up at Donna from where he was sitting, raising an eyebrow at the women. Oh yes, she offered tea once. He could work with that. He's had worse offers. Tossing up a quirk of a smile, he shrugged his shoulders and sprawled back in his seat. "What can I say? My heart goes out to anyone who can make a decent cup of tea."

She didn't just mingle and accept her fate... She embraced the experience and ogled the eye candy. It was a very important job that somebody had to do. It was a hardship, but she'd take one for the team.

"Good cup of tea fixes everything, my Nan used to say. Well, maybe it doesn't fix everything, but it makes facing it all that little bit easier." She brought a tray over - mugs, teapot, sugar, powdered milk. "None of the fresh stuff left. Might be a few cartons of UHT left somewhere, but mostly it's the powdered rubbish, I'm afraid."

See? Already getting on like a house on fire! "So, settling in alright? Not had any run in's with the local wildlife?" Or, you know, Cas' sabre-tooth kitten that wanders around.

It was a job anyone could do and should be outsourced. Honestly, if Crowley had plans or something on the go then he'd seriously be out of here and not sitting with a women, having tea and nattering on about who knows what. All he knew was that slowly, very slowly, he was getting one hell of a headache.

"So it's all like rations?" Charming. He eyed the tea in dismay and gave it a questionable sniff before taking a sip. Yes, it was still red hot but like he'd even feel the weak burn of hot tea. "I suppose it could be worse."

He'd lived in more outdated times, he could embrace the chaos. Sadly back then, at least they had descent booze. "I'm doing fine and no, I have yet to go play with the locals and enjoy the resident petting zoo."

Cas had a sabre-tooth kitten? Okay, no one could have big animals for pets but him. If Growley, his wonderful hell hound, was here then he'd tear that kitten to shreds.

Sitting around nattering with tea was one of the highlights of life, Crowley. Had he been living under a rock? Gossiping and tea were a way of life!

"Yup. Rations. Don't worry, I've been living alone, so there's still quite a few tins of veg and stuff left in this house." She blew on her own tea before taking a sip. "And if you can hunt you can get fresh meat in the forest - as long as you don't get eaten yourself."

No, he's been living in hell. No one just has tea and chats there. He's tired, it ended with a demon melt the cup. They don't exactly do tea parties, they definitely don't make chit-chat and he was actually okay with all of this. But here? Whole new game, whole no world to adapt too.

"Do I look like I go hunting?"

He gestured to his well put together appearance and wonderfully manicured hands. He is no brute who would simply run after animals. Where's the sport in that? He could just find some minions to do it.

He needed to train those demons better. Hellfire, brimstone and torture were all so outdated, tea parties was were it was at, these days. Teeny, tiny little tea cakes and jam, fancy tea sets, little hats. Perfect. So much better than the stench of sulphur and burning flesh.

Donna eyed him up and down at his question. "No, I suppose not. Far too dapper. Nice to see a bloke in a well tailored suit, I must say. Shame there's no dry cleaners here - it is dry clean only? Are you going to have to wear jeans?"

Well, it depends on the workload. If it's just another day in hell then God help him, he'd rather don a whimsical hat and do whatever else. If it was one of those super fun days when he had a body to vent his anger out on or he was winning then tea could happily wait. But that was frustratingly less than common and probably twice as unlikely now he was stuck here.

Oh... she called him dapper? Okay, he was starting to appreciate this women. If she kept throwing compliments his way then he may be able to cope with this. As long as she doesn't mind him doing black magic in the bedroom and trying to kill all the eye candy.

"I'll finds means to keep it clean. And no, I won't be stooping as low as jeans. I never touch anything so pedestrian," he sipped his tea and offered Donna a fairly amused look. "I'm guessing there's no suit store on this block?"

Everyone loved whimsical hats. Even non-hat people loved them. Maybe he could learn to incorporate whimsical hats and tea into his torture rituals? The victim could wear a pretty little hat too. Sip of tea, slice a finger off. Sip of tea, slice an ear off. It could work. Demonic tea parties. They could even use red china cups so the blood didn't show.

However, Donna would appreciate it if he refrained from murdering the eye candy. It was in short supply.

"'Fraid not. Hightstreet shopping wasn't exactly top priority for our kidnappers, apparently. Shame. Could do with a Tesco Express and an Argos. Maybe a Top Shop too. There's a bar. There used to be a diner, but it got destroyed."

The hat would kill the mood and the mood was everything. Do you have any idea how hard it is to scare another person when everyone in the room is wearing a whimsical hat? Crowley's willing to bet that no matter how he spun it, it just wouldn't work. Though he could try here? Great place to start exploring whimsy in torture.

"Anything else get destroyed?" Crowley asked, sounding more weary and fed up than interested. Of all the places to be stuck, he was stuck here having tea with some women that missed Tesco. That was definitely his lowest point.

He could make it an art form, make a fortune in public displays. Whimsical torture. Hell: The New Dawn. It'd be a big hit for sure. Maybe. If he could get demons to open up to new ideas.

"Well, the diner was the worst hit. It was totalled. But there's been some other minor damage. Most of the other buildings are still fine and dandy though. There's the church and the library. Luckily they are unharmed. Books are brilliant."

Demons don't open up to new ideas, they destroy all of Crowley's things and only started listening to him when he started to punish them for being useless wrecks. They were mostly still in love with their dear sweet Luci so, alas, he was the somewhat unloved step father. Whimsical hats couldn't fix that.

"the books? All fiction or anything of particular interest?" he'd look into that later. If not to find something useful then to find a truly gripping book. Something on perhaps the Nazi party? The church? No chance. "Who really attends church these days?"

"Can't say I've swung by the library yet. But I imagine there's a wide selection. I mean, I'm pretty sure this place hasn't always been a guinea pig farm. When we first arrived it looked pretty lived in and like the locals had just fled. So, who knows? You should check it out some time. The magazines get pretty boring once you've read them a few times."

Shame about the whimsical hats though. "Well, some people must still go to church or there wouldn't be churches and vicars and stuff, right?"

"You say that and yet it's not entirely possible for something to be made solely for a purpose. A purpose one wouldn't exactly call 'good'. See, it's this funny little thing where people think they have a good idea but really, it's just another fuck up," Humans ironically did worse to each other than most demons ever could. Really, hell was no threat and demons were no motivators. Humans were on a sinking ship heading for hell no matter what.

And that definitely brought a smile to his face. Much nicer than whimsical hats. "That's just for the old and the gullible. Those who are afraid of die and suddenly care what happens after and those who have clearly been talked into believing. England, on a whole, is secular. That's where you're from, right?"

"Can't blame folks for wanting to make last minute peace with God and try to win favour into Heaven. I know if I was dying I'd be rushing to the nearest church."

A breath. "And yeah, I'm from London. Chiswick to be exact."

"Never works like that though. God says 'don't do this' and if you've done it, you can sit in His church all you like but He's a bit of a stickler for the rules," He's never been good at letting sin slid. That's why Hell never had a shortage of souls. It's all very amusing.

He pauses and raises an eyebrow. Chiswick? How... bland. "Ah, well, glad to know we're not over beaten by Americans."

"You make it sound like you know the guy."

And what exactly was wrong with Chiswick, hm? It was certainly better the Hell. Sure, some might call it Hell on Earth, but it wasn't all that bad really.

"There's a few of us Brits around. Not all the Americans are bad though. There's some decent eye candy."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only