kore_logs | have you talked to the man upstairs?

Entry tags:

have you talked to the man upstairs?

Who: Dean and whoever lives in House 16 who wants to put up with his crap. And Kenzi! What a brosis.
When: Day 70
Where: House 16
What: Dean's slowly going stir crazy, probably much to Gabriel and Raphael's delight. His housemates have to deal with him.
Warnings: Language!

It's been a straight-up week since Dean got himself in deep shit with Raphael and Gabriel. A week. That's seven days that he's been living out of his room, afraid that he's going to get angel-shanked when he goes to use the bathroom. He's getting really sick of it, and he's really tempted to think that Raphael and Gabriel's plan is just to make Dean stay in his house for all time. But he keeps reminding himself of angels and their patience and that's probably just what they want him to think and as soon as he decides fuck this shit, that's when they'll swoop. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Ugh, fuck this shit. Only not really. He stops tossing the ball against the wall and flumps back on his bed again, bored and antsy. He glances over at his sigils, checking them like he has to do every few hours because...

Oh, look. They've been fucked with again. His sigh is more of a growl as he gets up and stomps across the room to fix it again. This crap's why he thinks their plan is mostly mental torture, slowly driving him nuts. Once it's fixed, he sits back on his bed heavily and scowls at the floor.

Then he stomps on it and calls out.

"Hey! Someone wanna bring me something to eat? Freaking starving up here." No, mostly he's bored.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Unless you've taken up reading gossip magazines then I'm afraid you're screwed. Really, Dean. Do you need '25 tips to wow your man in bed', or 'the summer's latest must-have fashion and accessories'? You don't have the hips to carry most of them off - the clothes, not the sex tips."

She's more than happy to pretend their little encounter never took place. Sure, he's an amazing lay, but it was so messed up and she kind of feels guilty - and then she loathes herself for feeling guilty because hello, demon. It's practically in the job description.

"How about I tell you a little story instead?" She doesn't give him a chance to protest it before she moves further into his room, and if there are any hidden devil's traps then so help her she will skin him alive.

"Once upon a time there was a little unicorn. The horses in his flock mocked him and used him for their own purpose. They wished to cut off his horn and make him like them. But he wasn't like them, so one day he ran away and found a squirrel and a moose. It was an unusual friendship, but it worked." Can you see where this story is going Dean?

What, she doesn't want to be trapped in here with him? ...okay, he doesn't want that either. No devil's traps this time, if only because he can't leave his room either. Her whole magazine spiel gets the flattest look of all time as he petulantly eats his chips, but he's paying attention again once she steps into his room. Once she starts the story, he figures he has every right to feel as on guard as he does right now.

He sits up a little straighter, eyes narrowed, trying to figure out where she's going with this, but he's afraid to find out. The unicorn is Cas, right? Is she going to make him feel like shit for what happened when he was a trickster? Moot point because he already does, and what's he supposed to do about it?

"Okay, Lisa Frank. Go on."

Dean, Dean, Dean. Just wait and see. Don't go skipping to the end of the story - it takes all the fun out of life. She sits herself on his bed with no invitation, ignoring the protests of her still healing body.

Don't be so suspicious. It's only a story. Or is it?

"The little unicorn loved his new friends. He frolicked with them in the fields of tall grass. They did everything together. But in the deep, dark forest things were stirring."

She leans over to steal a couple of his chips. What? Story time is hard work! "The horses and the forest folk wanted the fields of tall grass for themselves. And they wanted the moose and the squirrel to help them. The little unicorn was scared. He didn't want his special friends to get hurt. He didn't want the forest folk and the horses to fight."

Okay, story time is really hard. "The fighting happened. It was inevitable. The moose was lost in the forest. The squirrel found another squirrel to share his nuts with and the little unicorn went back with all the horses and the ponies. But the horses and the ponies weren't playing nice. The little unicorn didn't like it. He wanted to ask his friend squirrel to help, but he couldn't. And so, along came a snake who offered to help the unicorn."

Oh my God, seriously? He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes as she keeps going because it's not like Dean's unaware of his own freaking life and Cas's place in it. What really sets him off though is the idea that Dean's the one that left Cas alone. That Dean left Cas and so Cas had no one to turn to.

"That unicorn," Jesus Christ is he really saying that, "could've come to me at any point." Let's not talk about how Dean prayed to him, a lot at first and then not as much over time when it seemed like Cas wasn't coming around. But even then, sometimes he'd look up and ask if he was there.

"Where're you going with this? Other than Disney Land?"

"You wanted a story. I'm telling you a story." Shut up, Dean, stop ruining it. Any way, whoever said Dean is even in the story. It's about a unicorn and a squirrel. So hush!

"And sorry, but no Disney Land." Another few chips are stolen. "Any way. The unicorn accepted the snake's offer to help his rainbow grow brighter, stronger and more sparkly than ever. But the little unicorn soon realised that working with the snake wasn't good. But he was lost and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't go back to the other horses, and he couldn't go to his squirrel. He found the moose but the moose's antlers were missing and he didn't know how to fix it."

Hey, come on. He has to admit she's doing pretty well considering she doesn't have all the facts. "The little squirrel was worried about the moose and so he went to visit the wise old owl for help. The wise old owl didn't like to be bothered. No one usually asked him for help. They were scared of him. But the wise old owl agreed to help the squirrel find the moose's antlers and fix them. They were a bit wonky and very delicate. The moose had to be very, very careful."

She should start her own range of children's books. The demon author - writer of best selling classics such as 'The Unicorn and the Squirrel' and 'The Little Unicorn loses his horn'.

Dean's patience is so dry already that it's the Sahara desert, and if this look could kill demons, it would've taken out Abbadon.

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the particulars. You working your way up to a point? 'Cause I know how this story ends already."

He's really almost afraid of where she's taking this, if only because he's trying to figure out from which angle she's trying to hit him with a low blow. That's what this is about, right? Reminding Dean of that shitty ass time that fucked him up for a year? Like, worse than Purgatory because at least he learned something out of that?

Oh Dean! Where's your sense of fun? Don't you want to hear about the magical little unicorn and all his trials and tribulations?

"You're worse than a freakin' five year old. Y'know what? Forget it. You don't want to hear the rest of the story. Then fine. Be bored. You don't want to hear about the little unicorn, then fine. Your loss."

She's only trying to help. And relieve the boredom. And maybe, just maybe trying to tell him a few things about how she feels without using words.

"I'm five? You're the one talking about unicorns and squirrels."

He does want to know where she was going with all that though, so he sighs and tries not to look like as much of an asshole.

"Finish the damn story."

Maybe she doesn't want to finish the story any more. The magic is broken by the rude interruptions. After she brought him chips and everything.

"Well," god, he interrupted her flow and now she's lost her place. "The squirrel wasn't happy about the unicorn working with the snake, so in order to distract the squirrel the unicorn broke the moose's antlers. But then things with the snake didn't go very smoothly and so the unicorn faced the world alone. Only, he found himself covered in leeches. The poor little unicorn was lost and scared and alone. And the leeches were too much for him. The poor little unicorn tried to fix things but it cost him his life and many of the leeches roamed freely, causing terror."

Is he still following? Sure, there are plenty of details missing, and maybe a few things are out of order, but hey - fairytale.

"Of course, unicorns are magical, don't you know? And so the little unicorn came back to life. For awhile he couldn't remember who he was, and a kindly bunny took him in. His squirrel friend and a panther found him and took him to the moose to fix him. The little unicorn wasn't sure if he could. But he tried his hardest. He fixed the moose, but in the process he snapped his horn."

A breath. "The squirrel and the moose had to leave to stop the leeches from destroying the happy, sunny, grassy fields. They didn't know what to do with their broken unicorn. But the panther said she would protect him. And she did. Not once did she try to eat him. She thought having the unicorn's magical powers would come in useful if she ever came across the snake. But as time went on, she found the unicorn's powers were not the reason she stayed."

Oh... Oh. So this isn't designed to make him feel like shit? He's not sure what it's supposed to do, and he squirms a little. Is she trying to talk to him about her feelings? Even using animals, Dean's not sure he's quite ready to do this. Also his impulse is to be skeptical, but Meg is either really dedicated to this con, or genuine.

"And so what was the reason?"

Shut up and listen to her express her feelings through fairytales about animals, damn it, Dean. It's important. Even if she's regretting starting the blasted story now.

"Well against her better judgement and despite the fact that if all the other dark and dangerous animals in the forest ever found out they would tear her limb from limb - the panther fell in love with the unicorn."

There. She said it. Happy now, Dean?

Whoa. Hold the phone. Back up. What?

Dean frowns at her, instinctually resistant to that kind of infodump because that's not possible. Demons don't love, right? Ruby sure as hell didn't love Sam, no matter how much they tried to convince Dean, and look who was right in the end. He doesn't get why she's telling him this, even if it is true. Is he supposed to... comfort... her? Is he supposed to help hook her up with Cas? Because he's so not ready to be her wingman. At least not to Cas. The idea makes him a little queasy and angry in a way he'd... rather not think about even more than he'd like to not be thinking about her loving Cas.

"Uh..." He might look as physically pained as he feels. What the crap's he supposed to say now? "And you're the panther?"

"You wanted a story. I told you a story." Yes, yes she is the panther. And the fact she's directly dodging the question is probably a good indicator. What was that saying? 'At the heart of every legend there is a grain of truth.' Dean has likely been hunting enough to know that all the best stories start from small truths.

"Right then, Deano. Story time over. Hope you enjoyed it."

"Whoa, hold on." He's squinting and holding his hand out, rolling back through the "story," and he finally finds words enough to give her a look. Not just look at her, but give her a look.

"You're in love with Cas?" Should he go for it? Yeah, maybe he just should. "Is that even possible? I didn't think you demons had the gooey centers."

Then again, she did just tell him the story of his life using zoo animals.

Don't just say it out loud like that, Dean! Seriously. Never say the L word out loud. Still, they've come this far. Might as well get it all out in the open.

"Demons were human once, Dean. Or did you forget that? I get it. We've hardly got a reputation for cute and cuddly but do you know what the only difference between you and me is? You had Cas and a whole army of angels pull you out in time."

She went there. "You were well on your way to losing your humanity and you know it."

Wow, someone's overreacting to what was mostly a question of whether or not demons are capable of feeling anything. Or... okay, maybe not, but that was seriously unnecessary. How is it his fault that she's a demon? She's like, flaunted it in their faces repeatedly that she's a demon and so doesn't give a crap about doing the right thing or peoples' feelings or etc., etc.

"Touchy subject, huh?" He's not going to take the bait, even if it is tempting. He has to like, physically restrain himself not to.

"Also, pretty sure that wasn't the question. If I was on my way to losing my humanity, that means you've lost it, sweet cheeks. The question was, can you even love anymore?"

Touchy subject doesn't even begin to cover it. Does he have any idea how much of a freak she feels? To be a demon and to be in love? It goes against everything a demon is supposed to be about. She loathed herself for letting those feelings in. Torture, pain, suffering. Those were supposed to be the things that mattered. Not checking her angel hadn't gotten himself hurt or killed.

Yet Lucifer had told her he's proud of her. Did that mean she was actually the only demon in existence getting it right? Unlikely.

She glares at Dean. If looks could kill he would currently be a pile of smoking Winchester dust. "You want the honest answer or the answer that you'll choose to believe anyway?"

Legit question. He's been through this with Ruby before, and no one listened to him. He wasn't convinced, or he wasn't surprised when it turned out she was playing Sam like a fiddle all along. How is he supposed to trust Meg now? To believe her? She's tried to squash out his and Sam's existence for a while now, and maybe this thing with Cas has been her way of weaseling in deeper. How is he supposed to know? Cas isn't exactly the greatest judge of character, though the fact that he was bonkers and reading her as safe, or making her actually uncomfortable with how sweet he was on her -- that's been something that Dean's thought about. Not that he wants to, but it makes it a little easier for him to accept them all living together.

He wants to play nice with Cas's demon friend here for his sake, but trying to believe that Meg's in love with him -- that's almost too unbelievable for him to take all at once.

"Let's hear the honest one." He reserves the right to still believe the other one.

Yeah well, Ruby was a bitch. Seriously, Dean. Don't tar Meg with the same brush just because she killed your friends and tried to kill you, your brother and your dad. That's just rude. What about all the times she's helped? Okay, okay, maybe all the times is a bit of an exaggeration - there have been some times when she's put herself on the line to help.

"Demons can love. It's rare. But not impossible. Most have forgotten how. Their humanity has been stripped away that they can't remember how it feels. But sometimes... it happens."

How did taking Dean a bag of chips turn into this? "Cas is... special."

He doesn't know how they got here, but she definitely started it. When he implied he wanted more romance novels, he meant the kind with the melodrama and the bad sex and Fabio on the cover. Cas doesn't look like Fabio.

"That so?" He has to sound skeptical because... well, he still is. He can't really deny that Cas is special, though. "And so it just happened for you two? Is it some kind of Florence Nightingale thing?"

Who wants Fabio when you can have Cas? Seriously? Those eyes, that hair, that trench coat. Besides, The budding Megstiel thing is just like a classic Mills and Boon - with added Heaven and Hell. Or not.

"Look. I saw an opportunity to get an angel on side and I took it. I had no one in my corner and there you were with little broken Cas in the car. A broken Cas was better than no Cas at all. And yeah, I had every intention of stabbing you in the back and taking the angel for myself - because hello, heavenly weapon of mass destruction with a bug in the system. I was all over that, baby." Typical demon.

"But then, when you spend all day, every day looking after him. He kind of grows on you. And he found a way to worm into a heart that is black and twisted and evil and he did something to me."

"Uh-huh," he grunts, still skeptical. Maybe she's playing them both like a fiddle, but the thing that's making Dean not quite sure is that there'd be no reason to up the ante about that here, now. All she needs to do to keep Dean from wanting to gank her is to behave herself; they'd already established that, even. Why pretend like she's in love with Cas? What could she get out of it? Unless she's going to fuck with Cas, which, let's be real, Dean's done a better job of that.

He doesn't want to show signs that he's at all considering that she's not lying; he has a hard time believing that she really loves him like she's saying, but he'll bite that she, like, genuinely doesn't want to kill him or turn on him. That's as far as Dean can get on believing in "demon love."

"Why're you telling me, then?"

Or maybe she's being honest for once. Yeah, yeah, honesty from a demon. But really, at least you know what you're getting with a demon. Not like 99.9% of angels who are supposed to be the good guys doing God's work and turn out to be dicks. At least you can trust a demon to try and stab you in the back. But hey, it's been ages since she last tried to kill him, right? Right. And if she wanted to kill the angel she would've done it when he was half comatose.

"I was just telling you a story to pass the time. You're the one who made it personal."

And she's back to stealing a handful of his chips.

He gives her a look when she steals his chips, but it's not a good look. Not for her, anyway. Because Dean's starting to look smug, and that's probably not good. She should probably think about saying something to distract him, but -- oops, too late.

"And what if I told Cas this completely impersonal story that isn't about anyone we know?"

Sometimes she wishes she had gutted both Winchesters when she had the chance. Life would be so much simpler.

Instead of taking the bait she simply rolls her eyes at him. "Stories are meant to be shared. It's what they're for." And if Dean wants to tell Cas a story about unicorns and squirrels he's more than welcome to try.

have you talked to the man upstairs?

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