have you talked to the man upstairs?

[venatical]

Who: Dean and whoever lives in House 16 who wants to put up with his crap. And Kenzi! What a brosis.
When: Day 70
Where: House 16
What: Dean's slowly going stir crazy, probably much to Gabriel and Raphael's delight. His housemates have to deal with him.
Warnings: Language!

It's been a straight-up week since Dean got himself in deep shit with Raphael and Gabriel. A week. That's seven days that he's been living out of his room, afraid that he's going to get angel-shanked when he goes to use the bathroom. He's getting really sick of it, and he's really tempted to think that Raphael and Gabriel's plan is just to make Dean stay in his house for all time. But he keeps reminding himself of angels and their patience and that's probably just what they want him to think and as soon as he decides fuck this shit, that's when they'll swoop. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Ugh, fuck this shit. Only not really. He stops tossing the ball against the wall and flumps back on his bed again, bored and antsy. He glances over at his sigils, checking them like he has to do every few hours because...

Oh, look. They've been fucked with again. His sigh is more of a growl as he gets up and stomps across the room to fix it again. This crap's why he thinks their plan is mostly mental torture, slowly driving him nuts. Once it's fixed, he sits back on his bed heavily and scowls at the floor.

Then he stomps on it and calls out.

"Hey! Someone wanna bring me something to eat? Freaking starving up here." No, mostly he's bored.

Comments

[venatical]

"Yeah, dodged a bullet there. I just have two angel dicks," who Dean can't kill for a variety of reasons, and he wouldn't over this unless they pushed him to it, "on my tail keeping me under house arrest." Rolling his eyes, he gets up, maybe not capable of having Cas on his bed with him right now, and he paces over to his window. He crosses his arms over his chest, looking out at the stupid town.

Dean's done some epically stupid shit since he got here, and he's been mean to Cas as part of it. He knows that, even when it's hard to get himself to stop. He's going to push Cas away if he works hard enough at it, and sometimes that feels like the goal, but he needs Cas, here and everywhere else. Back home, Cas is AWOL, and the thought of Cas disappearing from here leaves him feeling like he can't breathe.

The more he isn't a trickster, the less intense those trickster feelings of jealousy and rejection get, but that doesn't mean Dean doesn't feel them anymore; it's more the opposite, like now he feels them just enough to be able to look at them. The words he'd said as his trickster self, the ones that really drove the knife home -- they were definitely colored in a... distinct... way. And that's not even touching how much he'd wanted to kiss Cas, how much he'd... enjoyed kissing him. He can chalk a lot of that up to IncuCas, but he's had a lot of time to be alone in his room and try not to think about it. But if they kiss again, he probably won't even like it. No more IncuCas. That's all he was attracted to.

Except that's not IncuCas that he couldn't sit next to anymore, and it's not even exactly because when they get close, he remembers what Cas tastes like.

"Should we talk?" He turns from the window and drops his arms to his sides. "About what happened, about how we..." He gestures vaguely between them and gives up.

[happytobleed]

Castiel is honestly surprised that Dean would bring it up. He'd expected Dean to never acknowledge what had happened between them beyond the apology and Castiel had been just fine with that. Dean had hurt him, but if they discuss it more, he knows it will only hurt more, because Dean doesn't know just how close to the truth he'd been.

He stares ahead for a moment and then swallows thickly.

"No." Finally, he looks at Dean again. "No, Dean, we don't have to talk about it. I understand that neither of us were in control. You weren't the only one affected by the powers I had. It wasn't--It's okay."

There's a smile then, but it's a sad one. "You already apologized, Dean. I understand."

[venatical]

It's not about apologizing again, but Dean doesn't know how to say that either. It only matters if what happened between them then doesn't keep cropping up -- that is, if he can ever manage to forget about how much he wanted to kiss Cas, how much he'd enjoyed kissing him. Even now when he thinks the memory of that should weird him right the fuck out, it -- he feels uncomfortable, but not in a way that makes him want to bleach his mouth. Does that mean anything? Should it mean anything? And then there's the things he said, the way he'd talked about Cas's feelings.

He frowns, eyes flicking over Cas and then dropping away again.

"Okay," he says thickly, though he doesn't look convinced. He doesn't feel convinced. Letting the conversation stop here feels like chickening out, probably because that's exactly what it is. He hovers where he is, though he's too full of... everything to keep still, so he moves to get the sandwich Cas brought him and sits at his desk.

"Thanks for the sandwich," he murmurs, though he doesn't have much of an appetite now. He'll eat it though.

"Any other news from the outside?"

[happytobleed]

"Nothing else." He shakes his head, shooting a worried look at Dean and then at the wards on the window. "If they do anything that isn't harmless, call me and I'll come."

He'd said that he couldn't protect Dean from them, but that doesn't mean he won't try. "Be careful, Dean."

With that, he slips out of the room and leaves Dean to eat.