Lord, I'm so forlorn

[foundacause]

Who: Meg and Castiel
When: Day 130
Where: Castiel's room
What: The demon wants to see her unicorn.
Warning: Tooth-rotting amounts of fluff.

The more time Meg spends alone, the more she finds her mind wandering off to places she's not comfortable visiting or even acknowledging. She'’s a demon. She's a manifestation of pure evil. Her soul has been twisted and stripped of humanity until there’s nothing left. So why is it that when her thoughts drift to a certain nerdy angel in a trench coat that her vessel's heart decides to do a little skip, jump and dance?

It's pathetic. Demons don't fall in love. They're not capable of love. So why does he turn her entire world upside down? Why is she so willing to die to protect him? Ugh. Can she just kill herself now before she starts vomiting rainbows and handing out puppies?

Her run-in with Crowley in the tunnels only reminds her how short her time left is. She doesn't know how long she'll be here, or how long Castiel with be here. But she knows there is nothing but death waiting for her back home. Her time with Dean only cements that sometimes good things can happen.

She decides to stop wallowing in – whatever the hell she's wallowing in and goes to find her unicorn. She takes a detour to the kitchen to grab a bottle of scotch. Pausing at his door she raps her knuckles against it lightly.

"Cas? You in?"

Comments

[happytobleed]

Castiel hadn't wanted a room and he hadn't asked for it, but it seems that this place isn't sided with him.

He doesn't use the room much, but when his dead brothers and sisters started to show up and tell him--it's not important, but he was thankful to have a place to be alone with the ghosts of his mistakes.

"You don't have to knock."

[foundacause]

While the rooms aren't as homely as the ones they left behind during the earthquakes, Meg rather likes having her own space. She doesn't need to sleep but sometimes she enjoys it, especially when she dreams. Demons hadn't dreamed for the longest time, but when they started to dream again it was magical. It still is.

She remains in the doorway, leaning against the door frame with the bottle in her hand. Her hair is tied up in a messy ponytail and her leather is nowhere to be seen. She's simply wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She wiggles her bare toes against the floor.

"Can't just barge in. What if you had been in the middle of an orgy?"

[happytobleed]

"I wouldn't be."

He can't think of anything he would do in here that he would want Meg or Dean or even Sam kept away from. Knocking has never been something he's understood.

Part of him wants to ask if she's alright, if she's been seeing things the way he has, but then he would have to admit that he's been seeing things and he's not entirely sure that he wants to broadcast that fact.

It's not the same as the last time he was... crazy, but she'll remember that, won't she? He doesn't want to evoke that.

[foundacause]

Meg pushes herself off of the door frame and steps into the room. Does she look as awkward as she feels? She hopes not. Hopefully her awesome poker face is doing it's job.

She's been plagued by the ghosts, but she's trying not to let them get to her. She's a demon. What harm can hurtful words actually do to her? She's a black-eyed, cold-hearted, no-soul bitch, right? Words roll off her like water off a duck's back. Or not. But she's good at playing pretend.

At least the wound on her arm from the tunnel is healing, and her hair no longer looks like she had a fight with a bottle of bleach and lost. Ghosts aside things are kinda good.

She offers him the bottle with a smile. "Thought we could share a drink. Sorry, didn't bring pizza. Maybe next time."

[happytobleed]

He smiles as his mind slips back to a promise they'd made. They'd never fulfilled it, but somehow sex never seemed to be a necessity to him. That's never been what his relationship with Meg orbited around, even if she pretends that it does.

"Do we know what that is?" He's already seen people get sick from some of the food and while he knows that he and Meg can handle more than most of the others, there's no telling where holy water or something harmful to angels could be lurking.

[foundacause]

Sex would be the cherry on the top of the icing on top of the triple chocolate cake though, Cas. And a promise is a promise. Although, in all honesty, Meg just enjoys being near him - as loath as she is to admit it.

"It's a bottle of the good stuff. And pretty sure it's not laced with holy water. If I start spewing my lungs up on the floor you'll know I was wrong." The moonshine incident is one Meg would rather not repeat in a hurry.

[happytobleed]

With a small smile, he holds out his hand for the bottle.

"Maybe I should try it first." Things are more likely to be harmful to her than him and he should be able to detect most of those things. Taking a risk to keep her from harm isn't something he has to think about very strongly. He'll protect her the same way he protects Sam and Dean.

[foundacause]

Meg hands the bottle to him and returns the small smile.

"Maybe you should." Cas needs to learn to quit putting himself in harm's way for other people. He's going to end up getting himself killed at that would be a shame.

She shifts to sit on the bed, folding one leg up under herself. "Hey, Clarence? They turned your angel juice back on yet?"

[happytobleed]

"It came back as soon as we were out of the tunnels." Not that he's any better off than he was before the tunnels. His powers are lagging and he's at 70% on a good day.

He takes a drink, much longer than just a taste. No holy water and nothing else they should be concerned about. Good.

[foundacause]

70% trumps 0%, Cas. Every cloud has a silver lining. Neither of them have much to look forward to if they ever get sent home, do they? Meg's practically dead and Cas is bleeding Grace out all over the place. Kinda sucks.

Makes Meg all the more willing to cling to what time they have in this place.

"Hey, alcohol-hog, you wanna share that bottle?"

[happytobleed]

He smiles and hands it over. "Only because you asked so nicely, Meg."

It's no accident if his fingers brush hers as he gives it to her.

"This place is... strange. I can't seem to map it out. As soon as I do, everything moves again." The only place he can always get back to is their suite, so he's got a little comfort that he's unlikely to lose track of Meg or the Winchesters.

[foundacause]

The fact that the rooms constantly seem to be on the move is a little worrying. It puts Meg on edge - but on the plus side the scientists seem to be on vacation and no monsters have tried to eat them yet - oh, and there's food and drink.

She takes a swig from the bottle and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. "I can think of worse places to be."

[happytobleed]

"Me, too." There's a bittersweet smile at that, though. Truthfully, they've both been through worse than this and it's what brought them to where they are--made them the people they are--but in some ways he doesn't think either of them can leave those places. Meg is a demon because of her time in Hell and Castiel... there's a lot he carries with him that he can't quite forget.

[foundacause]

Meg hands the bottle back to Cas and shifts up the bed to lay down, propping herself up on her elbow. She offers him a small smile and holds out her free hand.

"Come lay with me, Clarence?"

And for Meg, the action is surprisingly unsexual, she merely wants to be close to him, sickening as the idea of snuggling is.

[happytobleed]

There's a moment of hesitation and then Castiel does as he's asked.

"I don't think drinking while laying down is advisable." Not that choking would kill either of them, but it still seems difficult.

"I can't help worrying that we've settled too much here. We should be finding a way home." Even if Dean might be the only one of them still alive.

[foundacause]

Meg tenses at the mention of finding a way home. She tries not to let her emotions show too often - it's not for a demon, but the thought of going home isn't a pleasant one. If she's honest, she's actually pretty happy here. Things are good. Mostly good. Okay, there's weird shit going on, but mostly things are better than being dead - which is what she'll be if she goes home.

"Is staying here forever really such a bad thing? We're alive. We're relatively safe. You can keep an eye on Dumb and Dumber and your dead angel brothers that aren't complete dicks aren't dead any more. I'm not seeing too many downsides to this."

[happytobleed]

"While we're all here, anything could be happening back there. Metatron could be doing anything to countless angels and the angels could be doing anything to the Earth. I can't leave it like that." All of this is his fault and he has to fix it. It's his job to fix it.

He can't put his own comfort above so much. He could already be dead there, but he has to try.

[foundacause]

Ah. Right. She forgets that underneath it all Cas is still a righteous little soldier boy who will always put the lives of many over his own happiness. And one day they'll find a way home and she'll be all alone again. Or dead. One or the other.

Just thinking about it makes her chest ache.

She sucks in a breath and strokes his cheek lightly. "You'll find a way to fix it, Clarence. You always do. You and the Winchesters, you're unstoppable."

[happytobleed]

He shakes his head. "If I was unstoppable, things would be a lot different."

Meg would still be alive, but more than that, they never would have even got to that point. It's true that he and Sam and Dean all seem to have a knack for the impossible, but it's just as likely to be impossibly bad as it is to be good.

It's not a line of thought he wants to take either of them down, so he pushes himself up again so that he can take a long drink and then he leans over her, just inches away.

The pause is short and then he closes the distance between them and kisses her.

He doesn't want to think.

[foundacause]

Thinking is bad. Thinking hurts too much. Meg has spent too much time thinking and she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. Things used to be so much simpler. She misses those days.

But then Cas is kissing her and that's so much better than thinking. Kissing is good. She can get behind that. Maybe the kissing will stop the pain for awhile.

She curls a hand around his neck, cradling the base of his skull as she returns the kiss, tasting the alcohol on his lips.