don't let me darken your door

[venatical]

Who: Dean and Cas
When: Day 220
Where: The kitchen
What: Dean finally remembers Castiel.
Warnings: None yet!

According to everyone else, there are still holes in Dean's memory, still people he doesn't know, and Dean doesn't want to believe all that except... He can tell that he's missing pieces in his memory; when he looks at this guy, at Castiel, it's like he can feel the empty space where he's supposed to be, but... There's nothing.

He's sort of gotten used to it. Sort of, except that it still gives him the willies when he looks at Cas.

Dean walks into the kitchen to get something to eat, and he senses someone else's presence immediately. Of course, it's Cas.

"Oh. Hey." He ducks away from his eyes as he goes about trying to fix his sandwich.

Comments

[happytobleed]

Castiel, awkward as ever, wraps his arms around Dean and just half-falls against him.

"Tell me you remember, Dean." He's practically shaking now. "Please."

Dean has to remember him. He has to remember what they've been through and what they are, because that's everything to Castiel and he can't make it here without Dean.

[venatical]

Dean's shaking too from the emotion of it all, maybe, probably, but also from the weight of all the memories flooding through his brain, the rush of input, the reminder of everything that Cas has ever meant to him, and everything he's ever meant to Cas.

"I remember," he says, and his voice is thick with it. How could he have forgotten? How could someone have erased Cas from his life?

Those fucking bastards.

"I remember everything. Jesus, Cas." What if he'd never remembered? What would his life have been like?

[happytobleed]

Without even thinking about it, Castiel leans up to press his lips to Dean's. If Dean remembers, then he must remember this and Castiel has been worried that he would never have it again.

Dean is dead back on Earth and he hadn't remembered Castiel at all here. It had been the prospect of losing Dean.

[venatical]

Yeah, Dean remembers this, and it's almost too much for him to be able to kiss back at first. This brings a whole new crop of memories to the surface -- not things they've done together, but how Cas kisses, what he tastes like, what his lips feel like. He's slow to respond, but then he has a hand against the back of Cas's neck, and he's pressing tighter to him.

"Those bastards," he says, out loud this time and with more venom, and he kisses Cas harder. Those bastards almost took this away from Dean forever and that's unfuckingforgivable.

[happytobleed]

Castiel stays close, nose still touching Deans as he pulls back just enough to open his eyes and look at Dean's blurry face.

"You remember." It's not a question. "Dean, I thought--I went home and where this place took me back from, you're--You and I are separated."

[venatical]

Dean frowns, not quite confused, but... okay, a little confused. So Cas is from his future now? Dean still isn't as up to speed as Cas is? Yeah, he's doing a lot better than he was, but that's still annoying.

"Ssh," he says, and he touches Cas's cheek. "It won't be for long. Never is."

That's big talk coming from Dean, who's almost always afraid the next time Cas walks out is going to be the last one, but Cas looks like he needs the reassurance, and Dean wants to give it. He wants to believe in it because he might never have come back from this one.