you tell me 'just give in'

[rigging]

Who: Jesse Finch and anybody!
What: PLOT HALLUCINATIONS
Where: Lighthouse, around there!
When: Days 37-39
Warnings: Possible self-harm, violence, swearing.
Notes: This is a catch-all log for important hallucination things! I'm forward dating a little because I'm going to be so busy in the next week or so, and I'd like to tag while I have the chance! I have a basic idea of what is going to happen down at the bottom there. As you can see, it is... not very detailed, which means I am super okay with just about anything going on! He's going to be particularly panicked, so if anybody wants to screw with him an/or knock him around, I welcome it. Lemme know what day you want in the subject line for varying crazy-times. c:

He's hiding in the lighthouse. Jones can't get him here. He's safe, for now, as long as he doesn't sleep, and as long as he doesn't leave. But he's running out of food, and water, and he's so tired, and he keeps finding snakes, curling around his legs when he nearly-dozes-off. Of course, he kills them, and of course, they hiss and go up in smoke, and he's wide awake - for another hour.

And then he does it all over again, curled up somewhere dark with his pipe, ignoring the communicator on his wrist.

Comments

DAY 39?

[magnets]

Why had he even left a couple of messages? Call him crazy, but he liked the guy, and in the world he's from, when someone says they'll check in, they usually actually check in. You don't check in? Shit's gone wrong somehow, and, so, yeah, he's worrying a little. Not to mention the dude had looked like shit the last time he'd seen him.

And thus Jesse Pinkman had set out on a task. He didn't like mulling around his place anyway. Lotta weird shit going on the last couple of days - almost to the point where he wanted to buy the other Jesse's stories, for chrissakes - and so looking all over town wasn't so bad. Kept knockin' on doors, asking around.

The lighthouse seems like a long shot. But it's all he's got left. He raps on the door frame for whatever reason when he pokes his way in. "Yo, Jesse?" he calls inside, takes a step or two in the door. His foot keeps the door held open. "It's Colonel Facepoker. Hullo?"

screech

[rigging]

Jesse did mean to check in. He just never got the chance to, not after he'd gone home. The stupid fucking dog had gotten to Kenzi, and there was no telling who else it had infected. Bruce had offered him sleeping pills. Maybe it had him, too. And there were others, that he'd run into. People who looked innocent but weren't. People from home, people from here.

So he can't trust anybody, and he curls up in the lighthouse and tries to figure out what to do. Should he sleep and fight the thing? Should he just wait it out? Should he give in, should he go try to save Galen, Kenzi? He doesn't know, but it's been a while since he's slept and...

There's a call for his name, and Jesse flinches, shakes himself awake and grabs the piece of glass he'd broken from one of the windows, his pipe, presses himself against the wall. He's not exactly hidden, but he thinks he is - and he looks awful. He hasn't slept in - in... how long has it been?

Don't look at him, don't look at him don't lookathim -

[magnets]

"Shit, this place is quiet," Jesse swears lowly, lets the door shut behind him as he pads a few more feet in. "Hey, yo, Jesse." He claps his hands once, rubs them together. "Come out come out wherever you are." And then it's quiet, but only for a moment before he mumbles to himself, "Fuckin' weird to say my own-"

He's looking at him. He's so looking at him.

It takes no time at all to find anyone in this place - ain't exactly room to hide in here and all - but then again, if the guy hadn't been sleeping, still, it wasn't like he was running on all eight cylinders here. Jesse's hands are still clasped as he starts walking towards him, traipsing a bit slowly. "Man, I've been lookin' everywhere for you."

[rigging]

Come out, come out, wherever you are? Wow, that wasn't completely terrifying or anything, Pinkman. Jesse's expression sharpens, half in fight and half in anger - not gonna fucking get him, bitch, bring it - and he raises the pipe, the shard of glass, pushing himself up the wall hurriedly.

"Stop - stop, don't come any fucking closer!" He snaps, waving the pipe. "Lookin' for me why?"

[magnets]

"Whoa, whoa," Jesse immediately barks out, almost a shout as his own hands jump up to splay at Finch, palms flat and placating as he can manage to be right now. "Cool it- man, you wanna put the pipe down?"

When was the last time he'd slept? Had he?

"I was just wonderin' where you were at." He doesn't step closer yet, fingers carefully curling in on themselves as he stares the other Jesse down. "What're you even doing in here? This place smells like stale popcorn. And balls."

[rigging]

Haha, no, he does not want to put the pipe down. Not even a little bit. In fact, his grip tightens, and he scowls, not moving either, hands shaking. Sorry, Pinkman, he's not even close to being stable or sane. How many hours has it been?

"Nothing. Nothing, m'not doing anything, y-you --" But his voice trembles, and he has to clear his throat. "I can't. I can't go anywhere, it's outside. Can't get me in here. Did you close the door? Close the fucking door!"

[magnets]

"Jesus - "

Jesse flinches a little at the demand, backs up enough to get to the door and, oh, this is a bad idea, this is an awful idea, but he shuts it tight, even jiggles the handle so Finch can see it's shut and safe. "There, see? Door closed, nothin' comin' in from outside." The pipe's still clutched tight in his hands.

Have you slept? Have you even slept? "So why don't you, uh, just come on down from there," real slow-like, "and tell me what's goin' on, man." He waits a tick, and then it dawns on his face. "The monster thing?"

Day 38

[reluctantsword]

Wallie had been searching for Jja for some time, and he hadn't been able to find her yet. At night, she would speak to him through the wrist communicator, but she could give no clue as to her location. She was frightened, though. Very frightened.

The lighthouse was next on his list of places to search for any sign of her, and he let himself in without knocking, without worrying about anyone else who might be there. If they were here and so was Jja, then the last thing he wanted to give them was warning.

[rigging]

Jesse recognizes Wallie. He remembers him as the guy with the stories, with the tattoos, but to Jesse's eyes, he's warped. Different. Shadows trail behind him and curl in and around Wallie's feet, giggle and shriek when Jesse sees them fully. They're not really there, of course. But they're real to Jesse, and he pushes himself up against the wall further when they scuttle towards him, eight-legged and fanged. He swings at them with his pipe - the clanging should be enough to alert Wallie.

[reluctantsword]

Wallie lifts his head, alert. He's close, he's sure he's close. With one hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw it at the first sign of danger, he turns to seek out the source.

Jesse. He remembers him. He wouldn't have guessed him to be a part of the faction that's taken Jja.

"What are you doing here?" His voice is low, dangerous, far from his usual relaxed tone.

[rigging]

Hurriedly, Jesse pushes himself up, scrambling away from the stupid fucking shadows that keep trying to slide up to him, tries to stay firm and angry in the face of danger. It's just hard, when the smoke curls out with Wallie's words, like a dragon breathing fire.

"Makin' -- making my stand - like you don't know. Y'can't fucking hurt me, m'awake."

[reluctantsword]

"I don't see what you being awake has to do with anything."

Wallie steels himself, his hand not far from his sword. "I'm looking for my wife. I know she's around. My stepson is with her. Someone's holding her against her will." His gaze is steady, his breathing even.

If he's supposed to know why Jesse's making a stand... "Are you working with them?"

[rigging]

The sword makes him nervous. Jesse's hand shakes. What is the guy even talking about? His wife? It's a ruse, a distraction, and Jesse sucks in a breath. "Working with -- with what? What? Stop tryin' to distract me, it ain't gonna work."

His expression gets angrier. "You don't gotta put up the stupid front, I know you're just pretending."

Day 37

[goodluckkobra]

Kobra scrambles up the steps of the lighthouse. Fuck, this place is creepy, but they're after him. The Dracs are after him. Oh, fuck, where are his friends? He can't find them. Where are they?

He trips onto the ground at the top, landing on his already-bruised knees. Fuck, he hurts everywhere. It hurts, it hurts, make it stop.

"There you are!" He starts crawling towards who he thinks is Ghoul.

[rigging]

It completely throws Jesse for a loop.

He stares at Kobra, curled up against the wall, eyes wide. It can't be... it isn't, but it is, and Jesse's utterly speechless for a long moment before he's reaching out to touch, rest his hand on Kobra's shoulders, the pipe clattering to the floor. He doesn't question it, not right now. This is what he needed.

"Yeah - yeah, hi, you okay?" He hasn't slept, but Jon can fix that, right?

[goodluckkobra]

Fuck, Ghoul looks so broken. He looks so small and Kobra wonders if he ran into Korse, too.

"Okay now." He settles against Jesse's side, wrapping his arms around Jesse. "He mess with you, too? I think we're safe up here."

[rigging]

Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, he can do that. Jesse latches on, resting his head against Kobra's shoulder. "Y-yeah. It's safe here, I ain't been attacked for real. He's been getting other people, though, he - I seen him, he chased me." It doesn't even register that Kobra isn't exactly talking about Jones.

[goodluckkobra]

"Safety in fuckin' numbers, right?" They just need Party and Jet now. "Who... who'd he get? Anyone we needa help?" It's so safe and comfortable here, though. He really hopes not. 'Long as the rest of his boys and Kenz and Lyds and Dan are cool, he is A-okay.

[rigging]

"Galen," Jesse mumbles, eyes closing. So tired. "Got Galen again, got Kenzi, probly more, I dunno, I - I ain't slept, I can't sleep. S'not safe to sleep, he'll find me. You." His words sort of turn to mush toward the end, but he can't help it.

Day 37

[tooghoulforschool]

If Ghoul had any idea that everyone loved this stupid, fucking lighthouse so damn much, he never would have headed over here in the first place. But it's out of the way. It's big. You can be alone here even with other people around. No Joys. No more decomposing flesh and rotting smiles. Only reason he even thought of it was hanging out with Jesse after that hilarious mess with Kobra's bed.

Which is why seeing Jesse here again isn't too out of the ordinary. Seeing him looking like that is definitely a concern.

"The fuck are you doin', man? Lookit you." He keeps his distance, eyeing that pipe, and just hovers near the doors.

[rigging]

Oh, no, no, not this. Not his face, and Jesse's a little too far gone, a little too frazzled, a little too sleep-deprived to really recognize that it's Ghoul. It's Jesse's face and he's a little terrified, holding up the pipe to defend himself.

"Stop, stop, lemme alone, don't - shit, shit..." He mutters, curling in on himself, pinching himself hard. Wake up, wake up, it can't get you if you're awake.

[tooghoulforschool]

He's stopped. He's not moving. Just watching. Carefully.

Slower than slow, he lifts his hands. Empty, just look. Nothing here. "Jesse." Voice is calm. Quiet. Potentially a little concerned, which actually surprises him. "M'not after you, handsome. You think you'd still be breathing if I was? No. You're safe. Just talkin'."

Gotta find out what's wrong. It's hard to tell from over here, but it looks like he either got in a fight or hasn't slept a wink in days. Still moving slow, he lowers himself to the ground and crouches. Just watching. Not going anywhere.

[rigging]

That's - not really reassuring. It could kill him. His own face could kill him, if it wanted to. There's nothing in his hands, but the shadows all around them are shifting and whispering, and Jesse can't trust him. He can't trust himself, can't trust his own face. He makes everybody around him miserable, right, even himself. Right.

He's not asleep, he's awake, and he can remember that he has a facetwin here. Breathing unsteady, Jesse looks up, eyes dark and bruised with the lack of sleep. "What? Don't - d-don't, I'm awake. Can't get me if m'awake." Is that even really true anymore? He doesn't know, he just knows he's seen the bites in reality, seen the dog everywhere.

[tooghoulforschool]

"Not gonna getcha. No one said that." Ghoul tilts his head to the side like a dog with something it don't understand. Those dark eyes start getting darker. That skin starts getting paler. His face, HIS face, looks back at him with dead eyes and charred skin and blood oozing out of every opening.

He sits up straight, not backing away. No. Fuck that. Just alert. Just on edge. Fuck that. It's not him. That is not him. He's alive. His boys are alive. They didn't die in that city. The Girl got away. His Girl. Their Girl. No one's dead. NO ONE is dead.

"No one. No one's fuckin' dead, you hear me?"

[rigging]

Nobody is dead, nobody is, and Jesse flinches at the way Ghoul asserts it. Nobody's going to get him, except it is and it will, eventually, because Jesse's lucid enough to know he can't stay up forever. And that'll be when it takes him.

He fidgets, holding onto his pipe nervously. "M'not dead." He repeats, almost dazed. "You neither. You slept? Can't believe it didn't... why didn't it go after you? We look..."

His words aren't working. And he's not aware that he literally looks like death, or that when he shifts and reveals more of his arms, his chest, they're littered with holes and laser burns. Of course, none of it is real.