you tell me 'just give in'

[rigging]

Who: Jesse Finch and anybody!
What: PLOT HALLUCINATIONS
Where: Lighthouse, around there!
When: Days 37-39
Warnings: Possible self-harm, violence, swearing.
Notes: This is a catch-all log for important hallucination things! I'm forward dating a little because I'm going to be so busy in the next week or so, and I'd like to tag while I have the chance! I have a basic idea of what is going to happen down at the bottom there. As you can see, it is... not very detailed, which means I am super okay with just about anything going on! He's going to be particularly panicked, so if anybody wants to screw with him an/or knock him around, I welcome it. Lemme know what day you want in the subject line for varying crazy-times. c:

He's hiding in the lighthouse. Jones can't get him here. He's safe, for now, as long as he doesn't sleep, and as long as he doesn't leave. But he's running out of food, and water, and he's so tired, and he keeps finding snakes, curling around his legs when he nearly-dozes-off. Of course, he kills them, and of course, they hiss and go up in smoke, and he's wide awake - for another hour.

And then he does it all over again, curled up somewhere dark with his pipe, ignoring the communicator on his wrist.

Comments

[rigging]

Thinking. Pinkman's point gets Jesse's piece of glass to falter further. If he dies, he'll be leaving people behind. And he doesn't know he's sleeping, and Pinkman's right, if he stays here, inside the lighthouse, it can't get him. It hasn't been able to. Jesse won't let him in. And maybe that's how he does it, maybe that's how he can beat it.

Jesse's hand drops to his side, and the glass hits the floor - thankfully doesn't break, just clatters loudly. When it settles, Jesse's stilted breathing is the only noise in the room. For a long moment, he stares down at the piece of glass, and then he finally looks up.

Pinkman gets a small smile out of Jesse. Even with the shadows thrashing wildly, angrily around the corners of the rooms, with the whispers growing again, let me in, he smiles, because he's too tired to do anything else. He sways in place once, and then rubs at his face again. More blood on his face, but it's whatever.

"No, no, yer... yer right." He mumbles, looking over his shoulder at the door. It rattles, and he flinches at the loud thump that comes against it, like something throwing its body at the frame. "It's mad. Y'made it mad, though."

[magnets]

Well, congratulations. You may have actually achieved something in your life.

Jesse lets out a long breath, mops a shaky hand over his head as the glass falls to the floor.

You've successfully prolonged a man's suffering.

"Hell yeah, bitch," he mutters under his breath, peering up at Finch and that smile. It's nice, it's like a thank you or something, and he feels awfully damn good about it. Saving lives. It's a nice twist, for him, starts to make him feel like he's turning shit around. First Mike, now Finch. Even when there's a new something slithering its way into his head, higher and more female than the other voices: You could have joined him, you know.

Jesse flinches again, but he doesn't explain. It almost coincides with Finch's own - Joined me. - and he'll take that cover as a reward, thankyouverymuch.

I miss you.

"Forget that creep," Jesse replies in turn, waves a passive hand and slumps back into a seat on the stairs. "I can handle his nightmare ass real easy. Yo, we got any other weapons down here? I'll show'm who's boss. He ain't gettin' in here and he knows it." Should have brought a pack of cards. Jesse gestures out to the hand that's just recently been getting blood all over Finch's face, and lifts his chin. "Hey, man, lemme see your hand. No homo. I ain't gonna bite, I swear."

[rigging]

It's the first thank you out of many, really. When he's a little more in his right mind, he'll figure out some way to repay Pinkman, but for now, he's just going to smile and nod and breathe. Okay. He'll even let it turn into a rueful sort of grin when Pinkman says he'll kick the nightmare's ass. Man, his hero, right?

Jesse sort of stumbles over to the steps, and flops down next to Pinkman, wrinkling his nose. "No homo's stupid," He mutters, because he can't resist, not even with the heaviest hallucinations - but that's pretty much all he can manage at that, because he is so not even capable of forming full sentences, let alone anything that could resemble an argument. "I got the glass and... the pipe, those're..."

Nope, he gets distracted by just staring at his hand for a second. Oh. Ew, blood. Wow, he doesn't like that. "Shit. Aw, shit, Galen's gonna be pissed." It's so normal that it makes Jesse laugh, or... giggle, really. He's a little looney from no sleep and gradual blood loss, don't mind him.

[magnets]

"All right, a little homo," Jesse concedes instead, a bit of a laugh in his voice and a sneer pulling up the corner of his mouth. He is kinda on the verge of holding a dude's hand in a mildly darkened stairwell, it's unavoidable. "Don't get yourself any ideas."

But he takes a giggling Finch's hand regardless, pawing in his jacket for anything useful, there, a bandanna, and using it to mop up some of the blood. "How 'bout I hold onto the glass for a li'l while, huh? You're cuttin' up your hand to shit. Might need stitches." Not like that's really a viable option here, unless they've got a doctor hiding somewhere out in the town. "I'll keep ya awake. Kick ya in the shins if ya start driftin' off into St. Fuck, Nowhere. Pipe's better anyway."

Jesse's apparently had enough of this gay shit, and kind of thrusts the bandanna into Finch's hands, wiping his own together before rubbing his palms all over his jeans, antsily. "Who's Galen?"

[rigging]

He snorts at that. "Don't worry, I can - I can hold myself back, m'sure," He jokes weakly, with a huge sigh at the end. He winces a few times as Pinkman mops up the blood, but it's okay, he's had worse, and by the time that Pinkman's done talking, it feels a little less like his hand is going to fall off. Slumping back against the stairs, Jesse stares up at the ceiling of the lighthouse.

"... But yeah. Okay. You can have the glass. Don't fuckin' - don't lose it." Seriously, they might need it. For monsters. He sighs again, wrapping the bandana around his hand tightly.

And who's Galen? Jesse squints. "Galen is my boyfriend."

[magnets]

Jesse lets out a slow, careful sigh of relief once he's allowed to take the glass, edging out of his seat far enough to snatch the piece off the floor. Harder to do real damage to yourself with a big-ass pipe than it is something like this, he figures. Small victories that he's definitely going to be taking.

"I ain't losin' it, man. Straight-up responsible and shit here." He hefts the piece of glass into his hand as he collapses back into his seat, grimacing at the blood. "Yo, thought I was gonna have to tackle you for this."

'Course, then the big b-bomb's dropped, and Jesse actually wheedles around in his seat to peer at Finch, almost incredulously. Yep, did not call that one. "Like a boyfriend boyfriend? Like up the butt, like, that's how you like it? Up the butt?"

[rigging]

Oh, Christ, Jesse's entirely too whacked out to not find this endlessly hilarious. He's exhausted and woozy and the word butt was used, there's no way he can do anything but collapse into giggles. And when he's composed himself enough, he heaves out a huge breath. That. That actually felt sort of good.

"Mm. Usually I'm more of the pitcher, y'know?" He shrugs. He peers over at Pinkman, totally unfazed. "Ladies too. M'an equal opportunist." A beat. He can hear the whispers, still, but - it's the most lucid he's been for days, and it's almost a relief. "You like it with the vaginas, then, m'guessing."

[magnets]

Wh- it was a legitimate question! Not that he isn't some crazy degree of proud that he managed to get Finch to laugh at a time like this, really and genuinely, but he hadn't even meant for it to be funny.

"Oh," Jesse replies woefully, carefully dropping his face into his free hand and pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Look, man, stick it in whatever ya want, just spare me the details." Jesse doesn't need to know about butt stuff. "Definitely in the vagina club." He lifts his head for a second there and peers back over at Finch. "Wait, was that even a question?" Whether he liked vaginas or not? Hey.

[rigging]

To be honest, it's sort of a relief to know that Pinkman isn't going to beat the shit out of him or something. It's not like Jesse hasn't run into that in the past. Going a little quiet, he just peers up at Pinkman, almost sleepily, pulling his hood back up. "I ain't gonna tell you nothing, ain't your business anyway. And I promise I won't hit on you, neither."

The last question, though, makes Jesse giggle again, and this time it's his stupid pot giggle, the one that comes out when he's high or stupid from lack of sleep - he shakes his head, coughing a bit. "Oi, oi. Get yer panties out of a twist, baby, I was just askin', like you just askin' me. There ain't a default setting. Only fair."

He yawns, widely, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Looks over his shoulder, looks up the stairs, just to make sure he's not slacking on watching for the nightmare. "Hey - hey. Jesse."

[magnets]

There's not a default? "Alright, alright, I'm just sayin'. Vaginas are the best."

Luckily for Finch, Jesse's got a whole lot more of a nurturing side than he does a homophobic one. He's still got a wary bit of a look out of the corner of his eye, but he seems comfortable with just letting shit lay where it is with that. After all, he likes the dude. Just cuz he likes to stick his dick in weird places ain't gonna change anything here. "Right on, man, deal."

Unless he was something crazy weird. Like a dogfucker. Jesse wasn't being friends with a dogfucker.

Jesse peers over at his comrade in arms, raising his hand with the piece of glass a little bit, like he's gonna have to fake-fight off some nightmare bullshit or something. "What's up, man? See somethin'?"

[rigging]

Nope, no dogfucking here, Pinkman is safe. Jesse giggles again, quieter this time.

"Pretty amazing, yeah," Jesse sighs, and oops, his eyes are closed. He sniffs a little, and forgets to finish what he was going to say, tightening his grip around himself. He's thinking about Galen, since the topic came up, and it sucks. Galen's too far away, and Jesse misses him. Still, there's nothing he can do, unless he falls asleep, and - and he's not really willing to do that.

He curls up a little more, mumbling something indistinct.

[magnets]

Not willing, but then again he doesn't have his usual ploys to keep himself up. Jesse's probably supposed to be prodding him here, knocking the guy awake, slapping his face or something. But the guy's just been awake for so long now, Colonel Facepoker's slacking. He watches Finch slip off, budging carefully and slowly enough to give him room without jostling him awake.

"Hell yeah, man," he replies back, voice soft as he balances his elbows on his knees, lets the shard of glass dangle between his legs. "Pretty amazing."