You get to feel so guilty, got so much for so little...

[tooghoulforschool]

Who: Fun Ghoul and OPEN!
Where: Just outside of the town hall
When: Day 80 (backdated)
What: Ghoul is officially the last Killjoy at Kore. Dedication ceremony of the Mailbox for the Dead. This is an open log. Make your own threads to tag each other, or reply to Ghoul. Anything goes.
Warnings: None yet.

That's it. They're gone and they're not coming back. Ghoul's at peace with this now. He knows they're gone, but he's gotta stay. As long as he can, he's gotta stay. And he knows that while he's here, they'll still be alive. Through him. Just like anyone else they've lost since ending up here. Those people are gone, but not forgotten. Not entirely.

The cemetery still feels oddly alien to him. It's just not what they're used to. But Finch helped him. He and finch, they went into town armed with paint and colour and they found a mailbox. Right in front of the town hall. They spent a long time decorating it, just the two of them. Gotta make it bright. Gotta be able to see it from far away.

The mailbox for the dead.

"It's a part of my culture." He says to anyone that asks. "A piece of where I come from. It's a way to remember the ones that are gone without dwellin' on it too much." And he'll smile wistfully, push his hair out of his face, and just stand there, staring at it.

"Anyone can use it." He says solemnly, slipping four envelopes inside. "It's for everyone."

If pressed, he'll answer further. If you want to be alone with your thoughts, he'll leave you to them. Either way, the mailbox is ready. 

Comments

[tooghoulforschool]

Ghoul snickers, nodding. "Yeah. Just like that one." The one he LET you give him-- actually, no, that punch really did catch him off guard. Hard to stay sharp when your life is falling apart all around you.

He scratches at the back of his head, looking anywhere but Jesse's face. "Should probably... apologize. For goadin' you on. M'not okay with what happened." With him and Pinkman or him and Finch. "Just want you to know I'm tryin'. To fix it for him. And if you ever need it, I'm gonna watch out for you." Because it's what Jet would have wanted. He doesn't have to accept, but it's there. On the table. If Jesse wants it.

[magnets]

Jesse just watches Ghoul, for a few awful long seconds after he's done speaking. His hands are back in his pockets and he stands surprisingly still for once, just lets everything slowly soak its way in before he can muster a response. Watch out for him, huh? "Who's asking you to?"

That's all very cavalier and all, but he doesn't really care how Ghoul regards him, not right now. That's not what's most important to him here, and that's gotta be Finch. Finch and Ghoul and all the mess that entails, doesn't even know where to start there and so he just takes another careful step in towards Ghoul, beginnings of a frown on his face.

"How're you gonna put it right by him, huh?" What's that even going to be? How does he fix that? How does he even begin to fix- "Cuz, I mean, that's on you now. Far as I'm concerned, you don't even got other priorities."

[tooghoulforschool]

It takes everything he's got not to lose his cool. He manages to keep the frown small and his voice at a reasonable volume, but it's boiling up inside already. Two angry guys with a lot of tension and no where to direct that rage but at each other.

"No one's askin'. Why someone gotta ask? Just offered. Fuck." Bite his damn head off, why dontcha? Trying to offer a fucking olive branch and he's just spitting right in his face. But Ghoul doesn't back away. Doesn't move back OR forward. Stands his ground. Stays put.

"Don't know yet. Been tryin' t'figure that shit out since I got back to normal, but I'll figure somethin' so--" The 'back the fuck off' gets stuck in his throat and he just lets it go. "So lemme figure. Not so fuckin' easy, okay?"

[magnets]

"So don't offer either," Jesse shoots back, a little tightly. Maybe it's something about the mailbox and everything their conversation's drumming up, but he can feel an edge of guilt underneath it all. He knows Ghoul meant a lot to Jet. This shit would've been a lot different if he was still here.

But he's not, and yeah, Jesse's got a temper. Jesse's having an awful hard time looking past that temper when it comes to Ghoul, but admittedly he's not trying incredibly hard yet.

He shrugs a shoulder, furrows his eyebrows at Ghoul - a bit dangerously when there's almost that implication there, the bit of a snappy tone in his voice, but it wanes. "Yeah, well, you did kinda kill someone," he says flatly, wetting his lips and watching Ghoul with a bit of a deadpan expression. "Last I checked, it ain't supposed to be easy for you."

[tooghoulforschool]

Boy, you haven't even seen a temper. This half-assed, unwarranted lecture from a guy who ain't seen half the shit Ghoul has is pushing him over the edge and he can't keep it in check anymore. He looks too the side, snorts, you're hilarious, Pinkman, really. So funny. But he's not laughing.

Instead, his hand shoots out much like the last time, going for his throat and slamming him back up against the mailbox. Aw, baby, did that hurt? Good. He gets up in Pinkman's face, slowly squeezing that throat and keeping him pinned. Stay put, motherfucker, he's got something to say to you.

"Finch wasn't the first. And he won't be the last. I killed a lotta people 'fore I got here, and I'm probably gonna kill more before I leave. Can't help that. No remorse for that shit. But him? That one I felt. You know why?" Still conscious, Jesse? Is this getting through? "Because that one wasn't my call. That wasn't my decision. When I kill someone, I got a damn good reason, but that? Senseless bullshit. And I know what he's been through better than you ever will. So I can fix it. I will fix it. And you are gonna shut your fuckin' mouth about lest I shut it up for you. Got it?"

He doesn't wait for an answer. He applies a little more pressure before pulling Jesse up and slamming him back down again against the metal. Drive the point home. Make it stick. Sorry, Jet. He tried.

And now he's leaving. Enjoy the fucking view. Ghoul's gone.

[magnets]

It's one of those cases where, yeah, he kind of gets it, he's pushing it here and Ghoul's got an awful lot to be angry about - he's fully expecting there to be a reaction here. It's the 'what' in this situation that he doesn't exactly see coming, and by the time he gets to think about it, he's got a metal edge jammed up into his back and a hand squeezing tight against his neck.

A half of a choked sound leaves between clenched teeth and then nothing, he can't talk, he can't breathe, he can't anything but throw his hands out and push into Ghoul's chest as hard as he can. It's not easy to get leverage when they're this close and, short as he is, the guy's built like a tank; nothing happens. Between that and the few sparkles starting to ebb into his vision, he panics.

Only half the words are even sinking in, he's too focused on the fingers tight into his skin, and he sinks a few punches into Ghoul's side at first - those are focused. It's just about the time when Ghoul's starting to wrap up when these black cloudy edges start to crawl their way in from Jesse's sides when he gives a bit of a last-ditch effort, leaves a trail of nail marks on Ghoul's own throat, there's that last final squeeze and then-

It's done, he's walking away. Jesse slides down the mailbox, and whatever rebuttal he might have and could have spit back is left by the wayside, with him shaking and gasping on all fours in the grass.