kore_logs | ( day 45 ) you were supposed to return

Entry tags:

( day 45 ) you were supposed to return

WHO: Galen Howard and Jesse Finch
WHAT: Galen returns after disappearing for 24 hours
WHEN: Bright and early on day 45!
WHERE: House 20

[ Galen doesn't sleep often, anymore, but when he does, it's like a rock. His dreams are deep, and they're his; he knows he's dreaming, but he doesn't dare let himself venture out. Not when he could end up in the dark, where something will be waiting for him. There are already too many little dregs of that dog slipping around him, trying to get close enough to cling, to bite, and he can't let them.

The dreams are long, and they're deep, and they're his.

Something jolts him awake, though. Maybe it's a sudden sound, maybe it's the unfamiliar space around him, maybe it's the warmth beside him. Galen opens his eyes blearily, confusion and a sudden panic - familiar from the hospital - setting in -- but there's something familiar, something -- where is --

The warmth next to him, the body, that's Jesse, and -- oh, his heart nearly stops. He wants to -- but he can't. This has to be a mistake. Maybe he's still asleep, maybe he's punishing himself, maybe, maybe, maybe --

He brings a hand to his mouth and watches, chest tight, but even with the glassesless blur he knows what he sees. Any minute now, Jesse is going to wake up, look at him like that, and kick him out. Out of where, he still can't process, but that doesn't matter. Not right now. So he shifts, tries to slip out of bed without rousing Jesse, feels around for his glasses. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He somehow falls asleep, but not for long. He doesn't even know how it happens, because he's still -- he's still buzzing. He's still tweaky. But he falls asleep to Kenzi next to him, and he wakes up to, presumably, her next to him. Already, Jesse's prepared himself to wake up to nothing, to more anger, to pouting and a quiet lack of presence in the house. It's why he resists for as long as possible, shifting, curling up with his back to the body in the bed next to him. Stares at the sheets and tries to keep hold on the buzz, on his racing thoughts, get up, do something productive, stop feeling sorry for yourself, things are great, you can do whatever you want to, you have to --

But it registers that someone is watching him. And so he turns, ready to snap at Kenzi for staring -- except. It's not Kenzi.

Jesse's expression goes from angry to surprised in seconds flat, and then unreadable, in his silence. His fingers curl in the sheets. ]

... Galen? What?

[ Halfway out of the bed, Galen freezes, one hand gripping the sheet and the other on the night table. He blurrily meets Jesse's gaze for about half a second before he just -- can't. He's so ashamed, and where the fuck are they, anyway? ]

Jess -- Jesse. I'm -- sorry, I don't know how I got here, I'm sorry, I'll -- I'm going --

Wait -- wait, no -- [ What? No, come back. Jesse practically launches himself at Galen, pulling him back into bed, and -- well, it's probably going to be weird for Galen, but it has a point. It's not intimate, but Jesse pins Galen to the bed and pushes up his shirt, looking at his chest, his arms, and then pulls it back down, looking over the rest of him. Looking for scars. For wounds.

And when he doesn't find any, he stops where he is, straddling Galen, and looks down at him with a frantic, teary expression, gingerly holding Galen's face in his hands. ] You're not gone. Holy fuck, you're here.

What are you -- [ He squints at Jesse, trying to see better, trying to make out his expression in the dim room, chest tensing up; it's Jesse and he's here and not pushing him away, but -- ]

What -- gone, what are you talking about? Where are we?

Wh... [ Jesse starts, but he just frowns instead. He's actually sort of glad Galen can't see, because, uh. Bruises. For a moment, he's quiet, and then he brushes Galen's hair out of his face. ] You don't remember? We're in that cape place. Kore. In the house with Kenzi, right? And the woods all around us.

[ His mouth opens slightly as he does remember. He remembers the cape town. And -- Kenzi, of fucking course, and the rest, but it's like a strange kind of vertigo. The last thing he remembers was almost two months ago, and he says as much: ]

Shit. No, I-I -- fuck, I remember, but -- [ So hesitantly, his hands come up to rest on Jesse's arms, like he's not sure he's allowed. ] It's been, like, two months, and you -- [ His expression cracks a little. ] I'm so sorry.

[ It's been two months.

That takes a second to sink in. But when it does, Jesse tenses slightly. He doesn't move away, doesn't pull away -- because he is ridiculously happy to see Galen (something in the back of his mind, something's pulling at him, yes yes focus on the happy, get up, kiss Galen, go do more) but that's a cause for concern. It means Galen's been through November. And it means Galen's... ahead of him?

Time travel's stupid. Jesse shifts. ] So you -- you know, then, you been through it.

[ Maybe he shouldn't have said. Maybe he should have held on. Galen's grip tightens just a fraction, expression breaking further. He doesn't want Jesse to go, he doesn't want to lose him again, he wants him to listen -- he wants to apologize. ]

I -- I, yeah, I got out of the hospital last week, and I want so bad -- Jesse, I wanted to say I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. Please don't go. Just listen. I miss you so much.

[ His breath sort of catches. He got out of the hospital. So he is ahead. He doesn't know what he does in the future, he doesn't have the upper hand here, but - apparently he hasn't spoken to Galen. Jesse swallows hard, but he doesn't go anywhere. ]

... M'listening. [ He says finally, roughly. And he is. He's just not sure if he's going to like what he hears. ]

I -- I did something really fucked up. And I hurt you. [ His hand wrings around Jesse's wrist a little. ] I should -- I should've been able to stop it, but I wanted to help so bad, and --

[ He swallows, looks down, mind still reeling from all of this at once. ]

I hurt everyone, Jess. And -- if you don't want to see me again, fi--fine, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

[ It's a start. A step in the right direction. Jesse listens, fidgeting, unable to sit still, bright-eyed and trying his hardest to concentrate. This is not a conversation he should be having while high. Sniff. ]

You -- yeah. [ Fidget. ] I mean - no, I don't. Not wanna see you again, shut up. [ He swallows hard again, not even sure what his feelings are doing. ] Sorry - sorry for what? For what exactly. [ Because that makes the difference. ]

Wh -- I told you. [ The twitchiness is weird, but Galen thinks maybe it's nervousness. He can smell something, but he can't quite place it -- it's definitely coming from Jesse, though. He takes a breath, trying to keep his composure. ] For breaking your trust. For hurting you. I know it wasn't me, but -- everything that happened, it was in my head, fucking -- twisting me, and I remember everything. [ He wets his lips with his tongue, sniffs. ] I remember everything and I'm so sorry.

[ He's just making sure. And he nods, slowly. Okay. ] Yeah. [ He slides off Galen, sitting on the bed, rubbing at his face, at his nose. Ten to twelve hours, right? It's less strong, that's for sure. His head hurts. ] 'Cause you did. I told you not to get in my head and you did anyway. [ But it's not angry, just. A fact. ] But. It -- it ain't okay, and it won't be, you gotta get that.

But we can make it better, yeah? [ He sighs. ] I shoulda - I shoulda talked t'you. I didn't mean t'let it go so long. I got scared.

How? [ He pushes himself up to sit when Jesse moves, quickly - irritatedly - swiping at his eyes. ] How the fuck can we make it better if you can't forgive me? Baby, I would never hurt you on purpose. Never. You -- you understand that something was in my head, don't you?

Did I say I ain't forgiving you? [ Jesse snaps back, and he moves away a little further when Galen sits up. Stop, stop, it's threatening. ] Where in the fuck did I say that? Where's the part where you don't get that I can't fuckin' instantly be alright with you getting in my head, parasite or not, huh?

It weren't you. But it had your face and fuckin' excuse me for feeling burned. [ Zero to sixty, he's pissed, gripping at the sheets again. ] Don't fuckin' talk down to me, I know what was in your head, I was there.

You said -- [ He flinches, swallows, shrinks back against the headboard. It's like walking on eggshells, and he has to be careful. He doesn't want Jesse to take off again. Not that he can go far, from what he remembers -- but still. ]

I'm not -- I'm sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it okay. Jesse, please. I don't wanna think about it anymore, and I know you don't either. How -- how long was I even gone?

[ Cool off. Jesse breathes in, and then kneads at his eyes with the heels of his palms. Galen's right, he really doesn't want to think about it, and - he thinks it's finally wearing off, he's hungry and tired and irritable.

He balks at the question, though. ] You -- not long. [ He shifts. ] Just a day. But it was enough. I thought you was gone for good. I thought they had you and were fuckin' with you, like -- we found that Coulson guy. While we looked for you.

I dunno.

[ A day. Holy shit. He almost doesn't hear the bit about Coulson -- oh, right, the housemate. He was missing. ]

You -- what did they do to him?

He's dead. [ Oh, wow, okay, so seeing a dead body hadn't registered last night, but it was pretty... pretty gruesome, and when he remembers it now, he feels sick to his stomach, curling up with his knees to his chest. He needs to go find Pinkman. He doesn't want to feel this way. ]

He's dead, and me n' Kenzi thought they just dropped him there. They coulda done the same t'you, I thought I was gonna find you in the fountain or washed up on shore and I -- I couldn't -- s-so I. You were only gone a day, I didn't mean to, I wouldn't have if you were here, so.

Oh my god. [ His eyes narrow, and hesitantly, he reaches out towards Jesse, wanting to pull him close. ] Jess, c'mere. Please. Wouldn't have what?

[ No, don't tell him. He'll get so angry. Jesse inches closer, hesitant. ] Nothing. Freaked out. I wouldn't have freaked out, I woulda just. I woulda waited. [ God, he feels like he's gonna throw up. It's not even withdrawals, he just can't get the image out of his head. ]

[ He's twitchy. Something's wrong. Galen carefully grasps for Jesse's hand, other hand reaching for the night table, for his glasses. ] No, no -- don't. Tell me. Please.

[ Oh, yay, he gets to see Jesse's bruises clearly. They're all down the side of his face, and purple and blue and black against his chest and stomach. They don't mesh well with his tattoos. He lets Galen hold his hand, but he shakes his head. He logically knows lying will make it worse, but he doesn't want to. ] What, now you don't believe me? I -- I just.

I got into a fight, s'all, it ain't even that bad. [ Maybe that'll be a cover. ]

[ Once Galen gets his glasses on, he nearly gasps, and sits forward enough to touch Jesse's shoulders, his face -- gentle, hesitant. He hasn't been able to do this in so long. And that smell... ]

With a fucking bulldozer? [ A beat. ] What's that smell?

Close enough. [ He mutters. And then, freezing up. ] ... What smell?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject