[open] apples and quinces, lemons and oranges
Who: Ned, open to all
What: Here be species-swap logs involving Ned the unlikely fertility god.
Where: Anywhere (preferably outdoors).
When: Duration of the event (58 - 61); put date in header, please.
Warnings: Blood, kidnapping, creepiness and general Ned-terrorizing? [will add more as necessary]
Ned wanders the town barefoot, leaving a path of fruit and flowers and vegetation behind him. There are daffodils and bluebells, hyacinths and crocuses, irises of all colors, primroses and poppies and periwinkle in profusion. When he stops to sit quietly under a tree, by the edge of the woods, the vines spread out from his body like paint creeping through water. They slowly wind their way up the trees, or else sprawl across the ground, swelling with strawberries and blackberries, grapes and kiwis, passionfuit and cherries.
He doesn't understand why it is happening, but from the sound of the messages over the communicator, everyone has been going through some strange changes. As far as Ned's concerned, being some kind of plant conjurer is better than some options.
Since he can't think of much else to do with his time, Ned lounges in the dappled shade and makes bouquets. All he needs to do is rake his hands through the soil and a few minutes later, up come the snapdragons, up come the cala lilies. He finds that, if he focuses on a particular kind of flower as he does it, sometimes it is mixed amongst the others. As he sits the hydrangeas are bubbling up around him, shielding him from view.
Ned isn't worried about resting in the woods, despite all the dire warnings he's heard in his short time here. He is at the very edge, just in the shade of the first few trees; the lions and tigers and bears can't possibly have any objections. So he lounges in his cozy bower, hazy, half-awake (he hadn't exactly slept well, the previous night), weaving crowns of camellias and garlands of gladiolus.
What: Here be species-swap logs involving Ned the unlikely fertility god.
Where: Anywhere (preferably outdoors).
When: Duration of the event (58 - 61); put date in header, please.
Warnings: Blood, kidnapping, creepiness and general Ned-terrorizing? [will add more as necessary]
Ned wanders the town barefoot, leaving a path of fruit and flowers and vegetation behind him. There are daffodils and bluebells, hyacinths and crocuses, irises of all colors, primroses and poppies and periwinkle in profusion. When he stops to sit quietly under a tree, by the edge of the woods, the vines spread out from his body like paint creeping through water. They slowly wind their way up the trees, or else sprawl across the ground, swelling with strawberries and blackberries, grapes and kiwis, passionfuit and cherries.
He doesn't understand why it is happening, but from the sound of the messages over the communicator, everyone has been going through some strange changes. As far as Ned's concerned, being some kind of plant conjurer is better than some options.
Since he can't think of much else to do with his time, Ned lounges in the dappled shade and makes bouquets. All he needs to do is rake his hands through the soil and a few minutes later, up come the snapdragons, up come the cala lilies. He finds that, if he focuses on a particular kind of flower as he does it, sometimes it is mixed amongst the others. As he sits the hydrangeas are bubbling up around him, shielding him from view.
Ned isn't worried about resting in the woods, despite all the dire warnings he's heard in his short time here. He is at the very edge, just in the shade of the first few trees; the lions and tigers and bears can't possibly have any objections. So he lounges in his cozy bower, hazy, half-awake (he hadn't exactly slept well, the previous night), weaving crowns of camellias and garlands of gladiolus.
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He shuts his eyes again when Charlie draws close, tying his wrists tightly. Ned flinches away from his touch, though it isn't as if there's anywhere to go. Charlie's fingers are burning hot, and that is when he starts praying. He doesn't stop, even when Charlie leaves to fetch his torture instruments or whatever the hell it is. He only stops when Meyer starts speaking to him in that hushed voice, offering him hollow reassurances that he's sure are lies. Even if it's true that he's not going to eat him, Ned's pretty sure that whatever he has on the agenda, he's not gonna like it.
"Don't you fucking tell me to sit tight!" Ned spits, looking up suddenly, eyes narrowed with anger that's bordering on hate. He knows he shouldn't provoke him, but he can't help it. This is all Meyer's fault. He'd been just fine until he'd stumbled by and attacked Ned and brought him to the attention of his even more psychotic friend. He wrenches his against the rope, but it is far too tight for him to get lose. Then the anger is gone as quickly as it came, and Ned pleads, "Just untie me. I'll go out a window. I'll hide, I'll..."
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All the same, he doesn't like the position he's been put in, either. Charlie is his best friend, his business partner, and doesn't like to have to second guess him. He doesn't know Ned, not really, but he knows that what's happening here is bizarre. He can't just let him go -- that would make things with Charlie far worse.
"I need you to appreciate, Ned, what a tenuous position I'm in here. I want to let you go, I really do..." If he's not telling the truth, his poker face is pretty damn good; he looks genuine, honest, deeply concerned. "I can't just let you go. In a small town like this, Charlie'd track you down again in a second. We need to go about this in a different way."
He begins to loosen one of the ropes slightly, not enough that Charlie will notice it, but enough to perhaps provide some slight comfort to Ned. "I understand that you're angry. I'd be angry, too. I am angry, at everything that's going on here. I'm going to get you out of this, but you need to listen to me -- I've been in situations like this before, okay? I've been where you are."
That, at least, wasn't untrue. "And I know that Charlie's highly distractible. I'll talk him out of... whatever he has in mind."
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"Okay," Ned says, nodding fervently, and it's clear from the tightness of words that he's only barely fending off tears. He's absolutely not going to cry, he tells himself. He doesn't really have any other options at this point, so he decides to put his hope in Meyer, that he knows what he's doing, that he's telling the truth, that he'll make it alright. "Okay. I trust you." And then, because he really doesn't trust him, Ned adds, "If do you get me out I'll let you feed on me. As much as you like, until you turn back, as long as it doesn't kill me. Just please don't let him hurt me."
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But that's problematic, too, because he doesn't want to get angry and lose his cool. He needs to stay calm, so that Ned stays calm, so that he can get him out of this situation. And he needs to talk to Charlie, as soon as possible, to talk him out of doing something awful to Ned or to talk him into letting Ned go, either way. What use do they have for kidnapping someone?
"I'm not going to let him hurt you."
His tone is firm there. He can stop Charlie from doing something stupid. Or at least, he could when Charlie was fully human.
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Charlie is back in the doorway, a large canvas bag in one hand that is jingling softly. He was nervous about leaving Ned with Meyer, after all Meyer ate him once before who's to say he wouldn't try to finish him off? And he isn't any good to him dead.
He comes in closer, winds one hand around the back of Meyer's neck. His fingers are burning, and he blows out a plume of smoke into Meyer's face.
"I really wanna trust you rights now, Meyer. But I ain't letting you take anything of mine. Got it?" He gives him a warning shake, and then lets go. After all, the contents of his bag are far more important.
He reaches in and starts laying out all his possessions in a loose semi-circle around Ned. It's a random assortment of gold and silver and jewels, many of them unfamiliar. Charlie's obviously been busy today. A few more watches, some silverwear, a few gold rings, two tie stick pins. It's not very much yet, but he's working on it. Besides, he found such a great addition to his hoard today that he doesn't mind at all that it's relatively small. He has plenty of time to work on it.
Once it's laid out, he sits back on his haunches again to inspect it all.
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So, breathing smoke. Some kind of fire spirit or creature, something to do with fire? What other clues does he have? Charlie apparently doesn't have quite this much of a temper most of the time, according to what Meyer'd said, or such a zeal for kidnapping hapless strangers. Ned watches him pouring out the sack, sees him lovingly arranging the items. They aren't just shiny things - they are expensive ones. Gems and precious metals, in various guises. A hoard. The way he said anything of mine - that greediness was the key, wasn't it? He doesn't even see Ned as a person, just a thing for his collection.
Ned glances up at Charlie fearfully, staying very still, not wanting to attract his attention any more than he has to. Something about the way he is sitting there, making sure everything is present and correct, looming over all of it with a strange intensity, makes Ned think of storybooks, of dragons in caves resting on mountains of gold coins. But Charlie is a human being, or at least, mostly human shaped. He couldn't possibly be-
But then, what is and isn't possible, in the place right now? Perhaps he's some kind of hybrid, or else possessed by a dragon. Apparently possession by demons was possible, so why not possession by something else.
Hesitant, unsure whether he should go for flattery or continued silence, Ned says shakily, "That's quite an impressive collection, Charlie."
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"Yeah, Charlie, that's a great collection you've got there."
He manages to keep most of the sarcasm out of his voice, but it's difficult. Sure, he gets that Charlie's been collecting shiny things, expensive things, but why Ned? Maybe he can ask. Maybe it's as simple as that. Unless, of course, Charlie doesn't understand why he's doing it himself.
"You want to explain to me why you needed to have Ned as part of your collection?"
If you learn why someone's doing something, sometimes you can talk them out of it. That's his theory, at least. He doesn't relish the idea of physically fighting Charlie, not now when Charlie can so easily burn him.
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It is a very nice collection. Small, but he's working on it. He just needs to find some more gold (and maybe a few more people like Ned) and then it'll be perfect. His brain is full of day-dreams of a nice cool, dark place where he can pile everything up, maybe some big cages for the rest of the collection. And then he can nap happily knowing everything's safe. The thought of it makes him smile again, content rather than hungry this time.
He leans back against the bed, staying close for now, happy just to be looking over it all.
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Thus she's become even more tree like in the evening compared to when she'd actually been responding to the noises of confused, angry distress (or occasional showboating, thank you Mr. Stark) emanating from the tiny screen on her wrist. She is at least partially a physical representation of whatever tree she's parked herself in, perfectly content to take in the quiet hush of things that are just growing and being and existing rather without question.
Until the tree she's in starts wondering where that mushroom in it's roots came from.
So that gets her attention, enough to move through the tree and peer at what's going on at the ground level. It's Ned, and Ned is something so terribly familiar that the whole tree wants to bend to hold him - it can't, and more's the pity - but he's with two other people.
No. Not with. Being taken by two other people. Meyer the counting vampire and Charlie who seems to be generating quite a lot of heat. And smoking.
Doesn't take River nearly as long to add up two and two and come up with dragon but even without her psychic ability she is still what The Academy trained her to be; so the tiniest assassin moves from tree to tree, watching their progression into the house and observing from a nearby window as Ned is tied up and Meyer just...talks.
Meyer is afraid to engage Charlie, maybe (understandable, since burning dead flesh is not a fun smell) but River is not. Not with skin that suddenly becomes as thick as a centuries old tree, and hair that wraps like kudzu. The question is how to deal with this. She didn't stop them in the open because for all she knows, Charlie could set the entire town on fire and there's at least a dozen trees within easy range - besides, running with Ned in the open when he leaves a path of flowers in his wake seems like the opposite of stealth.
She needs to get in. If she can get in she can incapacitate them and get Ned to safety, though if incapacitate also means 'grievously harm' River won't be too disappointed. Charlie is obviously the threat here; he's the one who keeps herding Ned around, he's the one that watches over Ned like a prize, he's the one who tied Ned to the radiator to begin with, and the one who can make fire. A vampire probably wouldn't get much out of biting a tree, River decides, dropping down to the ground to pick up a few rocks and chew thoughtfully on a few nightshade flowers.
The largest and heaviest rock gets thrown through the attic window, with enough twist so that it bounces on the floor several times like a skipping stone after it crashes through the glass as loudly as possible. Namely this is to get everyone to look up and away from the window of the room Ned is tied up in, since the last thing she wants is for her friend to get an eyefull of shattered glass. It gives her at least twenty seconds of surprise anyway, which is more than enough time to launch a second rock through the picture window with every intent of hitting Charlie square in the head.
Of course, the window will probably change the trajectory quite a bit, but if River is lucky it will at least hit the man in the shoulder or somewhere else. If she's not, well. She's following the rock through the window anyway, and has a pinecone to shove in Charlie's mouth if he tries to breathe fire on anyone.
That should be fun.
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A surprisingly small figure, but he doesn't let that fool him. Meyer's small, and he knows very well how deadly he can be. His hands are clenched at his sides as he faces her, skin starting to glow red.
"You ain't gonna be happy you did that, bitch."
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"River!" he exhales, and the relief he feels at that moment is overwhelming. It doesn't last; Charlie looks like he's up for a fight, and Ned starts immediately conjuring unpleasant what-ifs. He doesn't want River to get hurt, ever, but he especially doesn't want her to get hurt trying to help him. Then it will be his fault, and he won't be able to bear it. And Charlie is starting to glow and looks like he could murder her where she stands. Ned starts tugging at his bonds in more earnest. He doesn't care if he has to break all of his fingers to get free, he has to help...
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Because, seriously, if Ned hurts himself getting loose that's not useful. If Ned hurts himself trying and failing to fight to protect River? Even less useful. Granted Meyer seems to be trying to untie Ned without drawing too much attention, and that might be the best thing.
If Charlie opens up to fire she'll shove that pinecone in and if he doesn't she's going to kick him in the throat as hard as he can and do her level best to bounce his skull off the floor, but he's obviously easily goaded so why not use that to her advantage too? She points at Charlie and then turns her wrist into a beckoning motion with two fingers. "Let's see what the world made you today. Our guess is the ass of a baboon; you're red enough for one."
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Of course his hand leaves an impressive hand-shaped burn in her skin but she can deal with that ...later. Now she has a split second to jam her elbow into Charlie's jaw and hope it dazes him enough.
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"I'm gonna fucking kill you, you fucking whore!"
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Charlie is obviously dazed, and River -- he assumes it's the girl he spoke to earlier that day, the girl who'd been turned into some kind of tree spirit -- seems to be winning the fight, or at least knocking him around pretty well. And if there's one thing he doesn't want to see happen, it's Charlie getting severely hurt, no matter how much he may deserve a punch or two for his ill-planned kidnapping.
Meyer's used to breaking up fights. It's something he learned from a young age, ever since he realized he didn't have as quick of a temper as many of his friends, ever since he realized he could hold his own in a fight, but could often avoid one altogether with logic. There's only one choice here, only one way to make sure he gets both of their attention, and quickly, so they don't kill each other. He knows murderous intent when he sees it, and he's pretty sure it's written all over Charlie's face.
So he stands swiftly, then physically places himself between the two combatants, one hand out to each side in the universal gesture for 'stop,' the look on his face determined, calm, not at all angry. "Everyone stop," he says, and his hand instinctively goes to Charlie's shoulder to stop him from taking any more steps forward. He doesn't touch River, doesn't know her well enough to assume that his touch will have a calming effect. "Everyone stop, take a deep breath, and calm down. We don't want to do this."
Then he turns to Charlie, eyes intent on him, hand still on his shoulder, and switches to speaking Italian for a moment. "Charlie, don't do this. We can all walk away from this if you calm down. This isn't what you really want, just like I didn't really want to bite Ned. Calm down and none of us will get any more hurt than we already are."
A deep breath, then he addresses the room as a whole, including Ned, who he hopes has somewhat recovered from his uncomfortable tied-up position. "This is all a horrible mistake -- but behaving this way and fighting each other is what our captors want, can't you see? They turn us into something terrible, they give us power we don't know how to handle, so of course we're going to take it out on each other. Let's not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing us unable to control ourselves."
In this case, he means Charlie and himself not being able to control their attacks, their apparent desire for kidnapping, but it's better to leave the statement vague, not wanting to anger Charlie further by calling him out publicly. He sighs and continues. "River, you were only doing what a friend would do at seeing someone they cared about in danger, but I'm officially declaring this fight over. Ned, you got dragged into something you shouldn't have, and you're free to go now. Charlie, I understand that you didn't intend for this to go the way it did, but I need you to take a step back and calm down. Nobody's killing anybody. This isn't getting any worse than it already has."
And he'll stand right in between the two of them until they give up the fight and Ned escapes the house. If they want to keep fighting, they can tear him apart, but he's had it up to here with this whole day, and he's done.
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"Get the fuck off me, Meyer! I needs this! This is fucking MINE!" he's blowing smoke and hissing as he screams, doing everything to force his way out of Meyer's grasp. But he's not burning the house down. Yet.
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To this extent, as she draws herself slightly away from Meyer's extended hand and back towards Ned, reaching her own arm out towards her friend. "We'd kill for family," she says, keeping her voice even and her eyes locked on Charlie's, "you and I. Would and could and have." Her eyes narrow and the hand reaching for Ned loses some of it's bark-like qualities. "So you'll permit this, you'll let us walk away, a tribute can be provided, but not in blood, or blood will be repaid in turn."
She'll bring you shiny things, but you can't keep Ned, that's the gist of it. "Accept."
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So his heart leaps with gladness when Meyer interposes himself between the two fighters and brings things to a halt.
Ned gains a new appreciation for the man's bravery; he's always favored diplomacy, himself, and it's a mark in Meyer's favor that he doesn't just throw in his lot with Charlie. That he goes to such great lengths to right the situation and make sure everyone gets away unharmed, not just the man that he knows. And he's right. He's right about their captors, right that this is what they want.
Charlie doesn't seem inclined to listen to logic (that really is a terrible lot of smoke coming from him), but Meyer is capably holding him back. And River - River is at Ned's side, reaching for him, and he grips her hand like it's a life-line. When she calls him family, says she'd kill for him, he feels his throat go tight with a confused mix of happiness and disbelief and confusion and fear, still; for her, and the harm that might come to her for thinking of him as family.
He wants to run, now, not to keep talking. The rational part of his brain understands that coming to a lasting truce now will mean no pursuit, no search, no repeats of this nightmare, but the rest of him is screaming that the two of them need to get out now. He forces himself to stay still - as still as he can while he's still shaking like a leaf - and wait for Charlie's reply. He holds River's hand a little tighter; he does trust her.
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At River's words, he turns to her and nods firmly. "We accept," he says, careful not to say that Charlie accepts on his own because, really, there's no way he would -- and Charlie doesn't like being spoken for. But the two of them together? Yes, they can certainly agree to those terms. Maybe other shiny things will distract Charlie's attention enough that he doesn't go after Ned again. Meyer can hope. He understands where River's coming from, understands what it means to protect family -- or those one considers family -- in this way. He wouldn't have done any different, had the roles been reversed.
There's only the slightest evidence of pain on his face as he speaks again, his tight grip on Charlie not loosening at all even as his tone remains almost conversational. "I think that's settled, then. A fair outcome for all of us." All there remains left to see is whether Charlie agrees or not; and whether he does or doesn't is almost a moot point: Ned won't be his victim.
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It's too much confusion in one brain and he snarls again, but Meyer will feel is skin getting just a little cooler.
"Get the fuck out."
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A squeeze to Ned's hand and they're off, running through the hallway until they reach the door outside and River starts to laugh, true and loud, leading the way back to Ned's bower.
"Found you," she teases; and clearly, not a moment too late.