Meyer Lansky (
recognize_an_opportunity) wrote in
kore_logs2013-04-26 05:57 pm
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Apologies are difficult...
Who: Meyer & Ned
What: Meyer has some apologies to make, given what happened during the week they were all not quite themselves. Apologies, needless to say, are difficult.
When: Forward dated to Day 67
Where: Ned's house.
Warnings: Swearing? Feelings? Definitely awkward apologies.
A very wise -- and very cunning -- man had once told Meyer that knowing when to apologize was more important than being right. It was also more important to apologize at the opportune moment than to simply do as your conscience dictated (if your conscience dictated anything at all.) The apology needed to sound genuine; it had multiple parts, all of which fit together in a specific way: it was a careful balance of humility and grace -- not too subservient, yet not grudging; not overly wordy, but eloquent and to the point.
Yet for everything Arnold Rothstein had taught him about apologies, there was no simple and straightforward phrasing to fall back on when your apology included seeking forgiveness for turning into a vampire and attacking a near stranger. No apology gift seemed to suffice, either. At home he might have offered a bottle of liquor or a wad of cash, but neither of those seemed quite right here.
Lost for a proper script, Meyer felt a little like he had as a child, when he was still learning the complex game of wriggling out of trouble. It was like going in front of an angry tribunal when the victim knew just as well as you did that you were guilty -- except as a child, the tribunal had been his mother, and in this case, the tribunal was Ned.
That was why, as he stood, hat in his hands, in front of Ned's house, he had to take a deep breath. It wasn't guilt that filled him so much as the queasy fear of losing a potential ally, but luckily, that feeling and guilt translated the same on his face: an unsure smile, a furrowed brow, an appropriately contrite expression all around.
He took one more deep breath, and knocked twice on Ned's door.
What: Meyer has some apologies to make, given what happened during the week they were all not quite themselves. Apologies, needless to say, are difficult.
When: Forward dated to Day 67
Where: Ned's house.
Warnings: Swearing? Feelings? Definitely awkward apologies.
A very wise -- and very cunning -- man had once told Meyer that knowing when to apologize was more important than being right. It was also more important to apologize at the opportune moment than to simply do as your conscience dictated (if your conscience dictated anything at all.) The apology needed to sound genuine; it had multiple parts, all of which fit together in a specific way: it was a careful balance of humility and grace -- not too subservient, yet not grudging; not overly wordy, but eloquent and to the point.
Yet for everything Arnold Rothstein had taught him about apologies, there was no simple and straightforward phrasing to fall back on when your apology included seeking forgiveness for turning into a vampire and attacking a near stranger. No apology gift seemed to suffice, either. At home he might have offered a bottle of liquor or a wad of cash, but neither of those seemed quite right here.
Lost for a proper script, Meyer felt a little like he had as a child, when he was still learning the complex game of wriggling out of trouble. It was like going in front of an angry tribunal when the victim knew just as well as you did that you were guilty -- except as a child, the tribunal had been his mother, and in this case, the tribunal was Ned.
That was why, as he stood, hat in his hands, in front of Ned's house, he had to take a deep breath. It wasn't guilt that filled him so much as the queasy fear of losing a potential ally, but luckily, that feeling and guilt translated the same on his face: an unsure smile, a furrowed brow, an appropriately contrite expression all around.
He took one more deep breath, and knocked twice on Ned's door.
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"I think my favorite's apple," he finally says, but it takes some thought. He likes all pie, likes all sweet things. Maybe it's a product of growing up in a place where food itself was scarce, let alone luxuries. Maybe it's that sugary food is inherently comforting. Maybe it's just the taste of it. Whatever it is, he'd happily choose pie, cake, or cookies over almost anything else, although lately, he's been craving cigarettes to the exclusion of nearly everything -- but those don't really count as food, even if he often eschews a meal in favor of chain-smoking and drinking coffee.
The question about what he did before he got stuck here should be an awkward one, should give him pause and make him struggle to fabricate an answer that doesn't sound overly rehearsed and suspicious, but it doesn't make him stumble at all. "I ran a card game. Nothing fancy, mostly poker. I guess you could call me an entrepreneur."
That's all true, strictly. He does consider himself an entrepreneur -- he and Charlie have always found ways to make money, though rarely on the right side of the law -- and he does run a card game, although that, too, isn't particularly legal. Still, nobody could accuse him of lying, even if they could accuse him of glossing over the darker details.
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"The one in the oven is apple. Actually..." He breaks off, opening the oven to check on the pie's progress. Ned never sets timers for his pies. If anyone were to ask he would say that he bakes intuitively, rather than empirically. When a pie is done, he can tell, from the smell and look and some other ineffable quality about it.
(Of course, there is another, less palatable answer beneath the surface one. The reason he learned to bake without timers in the first place is that, for years, some brands of them made him remember certain things and then have minor panic attacks. Hardly pleasant. So he'd adapted, learned the skills he needed to avoid ever relying on them.)
His senses are telling him that this pie is perfectly done, so he dons some oven mits and takes it out, setting it on a rack to cool. He'll dish Meyer up a slice once it's cooled enough that he won't burn himself.
"Aways been terrible at poker, myself. Don't have the luck for it." Ned doesn't appear to believe there's anything potentially shady about running a card game. What does he know, after all? It was the 20's, people probably played a lot of cards. What else did they have to do? History had never been his strong suit.
"And... Charlie, you said he's your business partner, so he runs it with you?" He might have forgiven Meyer and set all that aside in his mind, but Ned finds that bringing up the other man is still uncomfortable. It jolts him out of the current conversation and reminds him of what happened. Meyer might have bitten Ned, but in the end, Charlie had scared him far worse. Still, he thinks, it hadn't been his fault, just like it hadn't been any of their faults. He lets out a short breath, asks, "By the way is he... alright, now?" Ned mostly sounds awkward, but there is a hint of real concern there. River had hit him rather hard a few times.
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He smiles a little at Ned's poker comment. Maybe there's something a little smug in that smile, or maybe it's just simple amusement. "It's not really about luck," he says, "Or at least, not mostly. Some people win a lot because they're lucky, but for most people, it's a game of statistics." It probably doesn't take a genius to figure out which side of the equation Meyer falls on. He's always liked statistics and numbers, always enjoyed figuring out the most profitable solution to a problem. Luck isn't something he puts much faith in -- it's for other people, people like Charlie, who can seemingly fall headfirst into any problem and walk out the other side unscathed.
"Yeah, he runs it with me. We've been business partners for a long time." It felt funny to say that, since below the formal suit and the strange amount of poise with which Meyer seemed to hold himself, he was really very young. People tended to assume he was older, closer to Charlie's age, and he rarely corrected them.
"He's fine. It all worked out." Another man might have offered an apology for his friend, but Meyer doesn't think that's his place. Whether or not Charlie feels bad for kidnapping Ned -- and he's not sure, although he assumes he is; they haven't discussed it in any great detail -- he'll have to be the one to tell Ned himself. It would be disingenuous to deliver Charlie's apology for him, and besides, secondhand apologies rarely hold much weight. Needless to say, their shared house had been an unpleasant place for the duration of the week, and he's glad it all worked out, glad they're all back to normal.
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He remembers Meyer's counting tic when he was a vampire, wonders if that isn't related to what he says about statistics and poker. For a lot of people, their transformations seemed to reflect certain of their traits. For Meyer apparently, it is not so much predator as potential card-counter.
"You seem young to have your own business already, if you don't mind my saying." Ned intends it as a compliment. It had taken him years and years to earn enough to finally invest in opening his own shop. Perhaps starting a card game was a little simpler, in terms of starting capital. He wonders how long a long time is, though, and if it's a question of the times. Curious, the areas in which the differences emerge.
Ned nods his understanding when Meyer reports that Charlie is doing fine, not pressing for more details. He hopes, privately, that there is no lingering animosity between the two of them on his account. He pauses in applying the egg-wash to the in-progress kiwi-lime pie and cuts Meyer a slice of the apple, handing it over with a little smile. It's nice, to have a little normalcy back in his life.
More and more as they are speaking together, he is finding Meyer intriguing. Ned cuts himself a small slice of the pie and sits down to join him. "When I was your age-" or roughly thereabouts, Ned guesses, since he can't quite tell how old Meyer is. Younger than him, he thinks, "-I was still working odd jobs, trying to save up. I'd only just opened my own place when I got brought here."
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"I'm twenty one," he says, accepting the piece of pie with a thankful smile. He wouldn't necessarily have said that to someone else, but Ned doesn't seem like the type to take him any less seriously given his age. The way he'd phrased it had sounded far more like a compliment than a putdown. Maybe it was because Ned had his own business, knew how difficult that kind of thing was to get off the ground.
Of course, he doubts Ned's business doubles as a drug front, like his own, and he doubts that Ned has to turn over much of his profits to someone else for protection; maybe it takes longer to start up a business when you're doing it legitimately, when there's nobody backing you and there's no sense of impending doom if you don't succeed -- or at least, not the kind of impending doom that comes with a bullet in the head as opposed to a loss of profits or concern about the business closing. That's what he assumes a completely legal business is like, although he wouldn't know, not really.
"What kind of odd jobs did you used to do, if you don't mind me asking?" He's always curious about people, wanting to figure out where they belong, what possible use they might have in his life. The fact that Ned is a baker -- and an excellent one, he realizes, as he takes a small bite of the apple pie, wanting to savor it for as long as he can -- means he's already more interesting than about eighty percent of the people here, but finding out what other potential uses he might serve is a natural instinct. It's not as though he intends to use Ned, nor does he see his attitude as particularly strange; he assumes everyone thinks of other people in this way, as potential allies, as potentially useful.
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It is such an oddly normal conversation to be having, in this place, with someone he met under such unusual circumstances. Ned is rather grateful for it.
"Whatever I could find, really. Baker's assistant. Cake shop assistant. Florists' assistant. Inventor's assistant. Gardening. Doing deliveries. Dog walking. Teaching baking classes. Window washing. Cleaning people's houses. Waiting tables. The usual stuff."
And then, because he knows his secret is out, knows that Meyer heard his announcement, he is able to add, "Selling fruits and vegetables, too. I'm always mad at myself that I didn't think of it earlier. Started working at a grocery store, and they'd always put me in charge of getting rid of any produce that was going bad. Except, because of my..." he waves one hand, to indicate his powers, "I'd just keep all of it, and bring the stuff back to life to sell at the farmer's market on Sundays."
That was the innovation that had helped him finally start saving up enough to make a difference. It was profit from nothing, was using his power to his advantage, for once.
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He's impressed by anyone who can use whatever skills they're given in an interesting and profitable way, and although he's never had any experience with someone who has actual powers, he doesn't see it as being much different than any other talent: something that could be and should be exploited for maximum gain. He admires, too, the fact that Ned started his own business through work and saving money, not through simply being handed anything. It wasn't that he had anything against people who inherited money, exactly, but their experience was so far removed from his own he couldn't imagine it.
"I can't say I've done anything exactly like that..." Of course not, since he has no mysterious powers to speak of, "But starting up any business seems to involve an inordinate amount of finding clever ways to sell things."
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From the sound of it, Meyer knows quite a lot about business for someone his age. That, coupled with his earlier skepticism about schools, and what he'd said about being partners with Charlie for some time, makes Ned even more curious about his life.
"I'll say. Luckily for me, most people don't need much convincing when it comes to pie. So... why cards?"
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That is to say, if you play it right, if you do it subtly, nobody knows they're being cheated. And there are always businesses on the side; the alcohol, the drugs, selling stolen goods. The card game may not be his dream job, but it's a means to an end: money. Someday, maybe someday soon, he and Charlie won't have to be under anybody's thumb. It looks like Ned can work for himself, not take orders from anybody, and that, as far as Meyer's concerned, means that Ned is living the American dream, more or less.
He takes another bite of pie before continuing. "Besides, I'm good with numbers. Always have been. There're statistical intricacies to card games that most people don't even begin to recognize. I like to work that kind of thing out." And, needless to say, he doesn't like things that aren't intricate. If something isn't a puzzle, it's not worth spending his precious time on.
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"That's exactly how I feel. People don't just come to a pie shop because they're hungry. Pie reminds people of home. It makes them happy. So they come in to be happy, and that's something I can give them." It may be cheesy, but it's clear that he means every word of it. It's also clear that the same is true, now. That he's just as happy to give the pie away and to draw enjoyment from Meyer's happiness at eating it.
"It's good that you found a way to use what you're good at."
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"I bet making pie's a pretty satisfying job. Nobody could hate a guy who feeds them stuff like this." He gestures with his fork to the nearly devoured piece of apple pie, pausing before he takes the last bite so that he can savor it. The unspoken message is, of course, that people can (and do) hate him in his line of work, but then, that would probably be true even if he were simply a card shark -- people hated losing money.
It's obvious from the conversation thus far that he's not necessarily going to drag any additional information about Charlie into the discussion than what's absolutely necessary. He has the feeling from the cautious way Ned asked about him that he might be more frightened of Charlie than he ever was of Meyer -- this is a common response, even back home, although occasionally a misguided one -- and he doesn't want to bring up any lingering resentment or anger at being kidnapped.
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"Thanks."
He doesn't even catch the implication that some of Meyer's customers might hate him for running the card game. He assumes that Meyer means him, because Ned got into the habit, over the years, of assuming that everyone would hate him unless he gave them a reason not to. He'd seen all that play out in his school years. Right from his arrival, the other boys had despised him, had excluded him and bullied him and hurt him when they got the chance, for no reason that he could ever identify. (He'd often wondered if they couldn't sense there was something off about him, something that made him a target). But when he'd snuck into the kitchen at night and made them all pies, they were suddenly his best friends. The lesson was clear: the way to stay safe was to keep everyone else as satisfied as possible.
"I was thinking about maybe trying to set up some kind of pie shop here. Or restaurant. Except without money, because what good would that do any of us here? But there are plenty of people in town who aren't good at cooking and it would be more efficient to set up communal meals, particularly since the supplies are limited. It's just a little daunting. Don't know where I'd do it or if I'd be able to convince anyone it's a good idea."
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In case it wasn't immediately obvious, Meyer's extremely business-minded. When the opportunity to discuss business arises, he can't help but jump into it with both feet, wanting to immediately puzzle over the difficulties and possibilities, wanting to figure out how a business can prosper. There's a darker side to this puzzling, too -- he's almost always thinking of how to make competing businesses fail, of how to take other people out of the picture before they become dangerous.
Luckily, Ned opening a restaurant wouldn't threaten him in any way, directly or indirectly. In fact, he might reap the rewards from it, if the rest of Ned's cooking is anything like the way he makes pies. His own business here is as yet undetermined, but he imagines it will have quite a bit to do with poker. That, after all, is something that can work well in any town.
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He remembers how badly wrong things went when all he was trying to do was make an inventory, after all.
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Food being scarce does strange things to people. He's seen it time and time again, both as a child and as an adult. Though supplies here aren't dangerously low, they could start approaching those levels unless more food is found. He likes Ned's idea, thinks it could actually work out, but there's no sense in being overly optimistic about something.
"And the people who have no idea how to cook would probably appreciate the help. Gets a little old eating things out of cans all the time."
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Speaking of keeping his mind off things...
He gets up, goes back to the counter and the egg-wash. "Can I just say it's really odd, knowing you're from the '20s?" He wonders if this is how people like River and Daneel feel about him - that he's this slightly baffling relic of a bygone era. "I suppose it doesn't matter much, in a place like this. But it's still blowing my mind a bit."
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And about his place in the future, but he's not sure he's eager to learn that. If there were someone here who could tell him how it would all turn out, tell him his own fate, he's not sure he'd want to know. It seems like knowing those things could unravel some kind of horrible mess that could never be put back together again. What if someone knew your eventual fate, and what if that fate was unpleasant? The fate of the world, though? He'd like to know that.
"What's odd about the '20s, anyway?" he asks, curious to know just how much things have changed. "I mean, aside from the fact that you all have better technology and dress more casually."
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"I don't know. No odder than any other time. It's just... after a while, decades start to pick up cliches. In the films its all jazz and bootleggers and Model-T's." He smiles at Meyer's comment on his clothing, glancing down at his flour-smudged grey t-shirt and apron, "It's stuff like that. People dress a little different, speak a little different, think a little different."
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"All I know for sure about the future is that you have a second World War. And you have something called cellphones." That's what he's managed to pick up from people so far, mostly because he hasn't been asking many questions, for fear of seeming ignorant. Of course, he couldn't logically be expected to know the future, but as someone who wants to know everything all the time, he doesn't like being at a disadvantage.
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So as he starts carefully layering the fruit into the pie crust, he talks. Picks up where he imagines Meyer left off, tells him about the end of Prohibition, about the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl. He tells him about Pearl Harbor, WWII, D-Day. Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the Holocaust. Tells him about Communism and the Cold War, about spies and McCarthy and mutually assured destruction, Vietnam and Korea and puppet dictators across Latin America. Tells him about the collapse of the British Empire and independence movements all around the globe. Tells him about Watergate and the sexual revolution and hippies, the war on poverty, the war on drugs. Tells him about civil rights and women's rights and gay rights, the collapse of the Soviet Union.
At that point, he realizes that he's been talking for a very long time without pause, without even looking up from the pie which is now entirely filled. He glances over at Meyer, realizing he probably should have gone slower, given more context, found more evidence of human decency to mix in with all the rest.
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When Ned finishes speaking, when he looks up from the pie, he'll see Meyer staring at the table, seemingly lost in thought. He's fiddling with a book of matches, clearly wishing he had a cigarette, needing something to do with his nervous energy. Maybe there's something sad on his face, but then, he's always had an unreadable face -- it could just as easily be deep thought, an attempt to process all of the events Ned has explained to him over a relatively brief amount of time.
"I see," he says, and his voice is flat. His brain is stuck somewhere between World War II and the Cold War, trying to unravel what he's just heard. He swallows hard before he speaks again. "And people think the '20s were odd."
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Ned can tell he's miscalculated. Meyer might not be saying much or doing much, but there's something in his stillness, his distraction, that bodes ill. In their interactions up to this point he'd been so attentive - polite, but also watchful. Now that focus seems to be turned inward, or elsewhere. The tonelessness of his voice, the fidgeting with his hands: Ned picks up on these cues without quite realizing he's doing it and knows that he's made a mistake.
And he should have known better. These aren't just things out of a book, for Meyer. They are things that might - probably will - happen to people he knows. His family and friends and neighbors. The thought that he might have depressed or perturbed Meyer is a painful one. Ned chews on the inside of his lip, wonders if he should apologize. He decides against it. Apologizing would mean admitting that he can tell Meyer is upset, and it's probably more polite to pretend he doesn't notice.
"There are people here from thousands of years later than either of us. Like River. She was living in a spaceship, before she was brought here. Can you imagine?"
It's a fairly obvious ploy, but Ned hopes it will be an effective one. If worst comes to worst he can always give Meyer another slice of pie. That would make the atrocities of the next few generations a bit more bearable, right?
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What he means is a guy who's not using that kind of information against him, who's not gleeful about what he's had to say but who looks genuinely remorseful for having had to say it -- a guy who's willing to try to distract him by moving the conversation on to something else so that he doesn't have to dwell on it. He doesn't even call attention to Meyer's discomfort, which a less thoughtful individual might. Meyer's not sure he believes in true kindness anymore (or maybe he never has) but he thinks that as far as these things go, Ned's probably what most people would call a pretty nice guy.
"River seems like the kind of person who'd be living in a spaceship," he says, that smile still in place. "I don't mean that in a derogatory way. She just thinks differently than the rest of us."
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But for now it seems that Meyer is pulling himself together, and Ned is more than happy to take his cues from him. Talking about the distant future is easier, he expects, for the both of them. Spaceships aren't real, somehow, the way the rest of it is.
"I think that's more to do with being a telepath and less to do with living in the future." And, of course, Ned knows a good deal of the way she thinks is due to what she'd been put through, but that's not his information to give out. Even if it were, he hardly needs to add that straw to the already-strained camel's back. It is disgusting, though. How little the human race seems to change.
There's a fondness that comes into Ned's smile as he admits, "She absolutely terrified me, when I first arrived. Jumped off a roof to say hi and nearly gave me a heart attack."
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"You married back home? Have kids?" He wants to get some idea of what Ned left behind, what his idea of family is like. It strikes him as odd, somehow, that someone could find themselves so close to another prisoner of this town so relatively quickly, although it's not a bad thing, simply an unfamiliar thing. He can't imagine considering someone family except in very special circumstances -- although perhaps being stuck here was special circumstance enough.
There's more to the question than simple curiosity, though. Ned seems like a family man, the kind of person who forms connections to other people, but he can't tell whether that impression was formed because Ned has been kind and seemingly caring throughout their interactions together, or because Ned is impressively good at putting on some kind of polite and solicitous veneer, much like himself. Meyer has never trusted pure, unadulterated goodness. There must be something else there, something dark.
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Those times when you have to look up the history of the bandaid
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I'm cobbling info from a million different recipes please do not attempt at home it'd probs be gross
What you mean my incredibly thorough notes I was taking won't do me any good
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