kore_logs | An overflow of guilt

Entry tags:

An overflow of guilt

Who: the Doctor, Mina
When: Day 104
Where: Mina's house
What: Feeling useless and full of guilt, the Doctor thinks he doesn't need anyone.
Warning: Will update when need to.

The Doctor had spent the entire previous day with Donna, concerned for her safety, and determined to do anything for her after a far too eventful day of near drowning with the sea monster. "The king of Sea Devils..." He commented, although the actual Sea Devils didn't have tentacles and were related to creatures that inhabited the earth long before humans, but that was a story for another time.

Around noon, Donna seemed to be perking back up and moving about and convinced him to go home to sleep some, but he wasn't tired. He was plain simply loaded with guilt and one of very few occasions, felt his age. Ancient, horribly unclever, and useless.

Sitting on the porch step of his house, he watched his worn brown suit blow in the wind as it dried. Clad in trousers and a clean button down shirt he hadn't bothered to button all the way, he finally slipped on his trainers and rummaged through his stuff, making a small pile of items that belonged to Mina - a couple books, another shirt he had meant to return, and a mug.

When evening came and the house became dark, he found his way to Mina's and knocked on her door. When she answered, he cleared his throat, "I have some stuff to return."

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"I bet it was lovely." He commented, watching the glow from the bathroom extend out into the room. "Autumn is a lovely time, with color changes, weather pattern disturbances, last minute turning of crops, songs and dances to harvest. You're right... It is something nice. Like Saturdays." He commented before slipping off his trainers and lying back.

"Hedonism, such a funny word. Greek for 'pleasure'... You'd think it'd have a positive connotation."

She glanced out at him. "Yes. Well, that's all a matter of opinion, isn't it? There are those who don't care for pleasure." In other words, the hypocritical Lancae Sanctum. "I suppose it rather depends on what you choose to believe."

The match was burning down to her fingertips. She let it go as long as she dared, before blowing it out. "And you?" she asked, tossing it in the bin and pulling up the plunger on her tub to start to shower. "Do you have a particular stance?"

Surely he did. He seemed to have opinions on a lot of things.

Mina started to close the door. Then stopped herself. She left it partway open as she started to undress. An invitation, perhaps.

He turns on his side, propping himself on an elbow, watching with interest and curiosity. Then realizing what he was doing, looks away, clearly missing the hint of an invite. "Do I indulge in pleasure? Of course! A good Agatha Christie novel in the library, a warm cuppa after a trip in the TARDIS... Barcelona, not the city, but planet is a really fantastic place. Bananas at a party... I accidentally invented the banana daiquirii a bit too early in France, actually."

He could ramble on more, but stops, and listens to the water fall.

Mina tossed her hat and tie out of the bathroom door. She didn't want them in the humidity. "What on earth is a banana daiquiri?" she asked.

Despite the fact that she was almost never seen around town without them, she began to take each of her rings off, one by one, lining them up neatly along the sink. All except for the one hanging around her neck. Half of the time, she completely forgot it was even there.

"An alcoholic drink mixed with rum and sugar. It wasn't so bad; that party." He reflects on it a moment with the French court and then finding Rose after a little too much to drink. There's a smile on his face, "You would like it, I'd imagine." If she were able to indulge on any pleasures such as that, but given she didn't drink tea answered that for him.

He closes his eyes for a moment, anticipating a change in the water flow with her stepping in. It made him think of rain falling on rooftops and the change in tune it would have depending on the material of said rooftop.

Slowly, she unbuttoned her shirt. Thick or uninterested? Some men were hard to read. With the Doctor, that was especially true.

Ah, well, she supposed. At least he didn't seem quite as gloomy. Quite as determined to severe ties. That was something, she supposed. Progress.

She hung her shirt up on a hook behind the door and started to unwind the bandage she wore around her chest. "I actually rather liked rum," she mused. "Of course, these days, I have to drink it with a copious amount of a certain special ingredient. Sadly not banana."

This one? definitely thick.

"I'm assuming you mean blood." He replied, now tracing his fingers along the sheets of the bed. Cotton.

"Do you forget the tastes and flavors or miss them? Or does it not matter?"

"Forgot most of them," Mina admitted. "There aren't a lot of things that you can mix with blood." But it was a small sacrifice though. One she'd been quite willing to make. One she would make all over again, given the choice.

Hanging up her trousers on the corner of the door, Mina pulled aside the shower curtain and stepped inside. Her skin wasn't as sensitive as a human's might be to temperature, but she did enjoy a good, hot shower when she could get one.

"I do sometimes wonder what certain things taste like," she said, over the spray. "Particularly luxury items from my time that are quite commonplace now. Like chocolates."

He's not feeling as bad now, with his legs a little off the bed, watching the flickering of the candles from bathroom, listening to the shower. It all seemed domestic, yes, but comforting in a way. Maybe he needed something simple for a while.

"Pity. I'm probably boring you talking about food."

"I've found, my dear, that you are many things," she replied. "Boring isn't one of them." Boring would never be one of them. He was too mercurial. Too unpredictable. Too wildly stimulating.

Intellectually, at any rate.

As for the rest...

"You are, of course, welcome to find a creative way to keep me entertained," she added.

He pauses for a moment, brows furrowing, "Are you implying something, Mina?" He looks up, unable to see her, of course, but is looking in the direction of the bathroom. He runs his tongue along the tops of his teeth as he mulls this over.

"Cheeky." He comments with half a smile and rubs an eyelid with a couple fingers, too amused with this implication.

Mina grinned, wetting down her hair. "Did you just call me 'cheeky?'" she asked, trying very hard to keep the smile out of her voice. "How dare you, sir. I am no such thing."

She paused. Dramatically.

"Say that to my face."

There's something of a 'thud' as the Doctor hopped to his feet and like an excited puppy, into the bathroom.

"Minaaaaa, are you sure you want to issue this challenge?" He's standing there at an arm's length away from the shower, looking quite devilishly excited about this prospect. Really, he'd accept just about anything to occupy his mind right now from all the guilt he had bottled up.

"A pirate never issues a challenge unless he means it," she replied, unable to hide the laugh from her voice.

She slicked back her hair, turning to face the curtain. "Of course, I don't think I'm really the one in danger here."

Hopefully, he wasn't overly attached to that suit.

Boldy, he opens the curtain, poking his head through to her, "Cheeky minx!" He commented with quite the bemused expression.

"You just wanted me in the shower with you, didn't ya?"

Mina smirked. "Mmm, not as thick as he pretends to be," she commented.

She grabbed hold of his tie and yanked him forward, giving him an easy, decidedly passionate kiss. As though this were the sort of prank she pulled every night.

Nothing could have been further from the truth, of course. Mina was hardly a prude. She was just particularly choosey. And, truth to tell, although she walked with a swagger and navigated the world of Kindred politics with easy self-confidence, she was far less confident when it came to affairs of this nature.

It was the Doctor, really, who made it easier. After all, he hadn't run screaming from the dismal sight of her scarred and--in her opinion--unattractive body before. He brought out a certain playfulness that Mina lacked in other aspects of her existence. And she found that she liked who she was, when he was around.

The water was warm as it cascaded down upon him, drenching his hair and parts of his shirt. A hand held onto the wall, keeping his balance as Mina kissed him, while the other started working at the buttons of his oxford shirt.

He needed this, needed to have his mind both distracted and comforted from everything bottling up inside. He had friends and had people he could collaborate with, but there was something about Mina that allowed him to stop and calm down.

Peeling off the half wet shirt and tie, quickly followed by his trousers, there was little delay in having the Doctor standing just before Mina in the shower, dark eyes locked with hers. Words went unspoken and perhaps his expression was unreadable until he finally placed a hand flat against the wall beside her and tipped her chin upwards with the other, coaxing her back for a kiss.

Some part of Mina--the scientist, she supposed--was utterly baffled by the physics and geometry presented to her at the moment. She didn't quite know, having never been quite so bold, how it would all work. But, as she found herself kissing him back, she supposed that there was some sort of primal instinct that knew all the answers.

Kissing was a baffling notion, on the surface. How did two people manage to make their noses fit? She didn't know. Instinct.

It was all about instincts.

Of course, Mina's instincts were a bit rougher than most. She dug her fingers into the back of his shoulder, pulling him closer. The spray of the water went at wild angles around them.

There was a brief pause and a laugh, "Miss me?" This was probably the most demanding he'd ever witness of her, and for such a situation, he wasn't really complaining.

Far from it, really, given he would rather not think about the guilt eating away at him and the longer he stayed here, the more helpless he felt. And it killed him that he was letting the scientists win. But right now, he had to not worry about that. For once, just live in the here and now.

She gave him a wolfish smile, lightly brushing her lips against his. There was even a soft growl, somewhere deep in her throat.

"No," she replied, grinning at what they both knew was a lie. "What ever would give you that idea?"

It was a rhetorical question. She wouldn't give him the chance to answer. Instead, her hand slid up the back of his neck and into his hair. She grabbed a firm handful and pulled him forward, kissing him again.

She was kissing him like she had never before, including that moment he shared in her bed after his mind had recovered from his return to Kore. Physically, he had gained most of his weight back and regained his energy. Mentally, he still had a headache from time to time, but with the recent disappearances of his friends left him unsettled. He wasn't the one to talk about such things, and it was hard enough to talk to Mina about it earlier, but it was too difficult to not take blame for it.

He wanted to slip into her mind, to lose himself in her. He hadn't done that in so long, and sharing mindspace with the Master wasn't the same. That did grant him some comfort, but not completely.

But he wasn't sure she'd let him, and he wasn't sure if she'd search through his. There were still some things he'd rather keep hidden, but maybe if she'd just touch the surface... He was really tempting himself here.

Something felt a hair off to Mina, but she couldn't put her finger on it. And it wasn't about geometry or physics. It was in the muscles of his face which were, admittedly, rather under close scrutiny at the moment.

Slowly, she drew back out of the kiss, watching the way that the water ran down his cheeks. Sometimes, she wished she'd taken the time to cultivate better skills at reading people. There were always so many things going on under people's surfaces. And the Doctor had one hell of a veneer.

"What is it?" she asked, settling on the direct approach.

"I want to share something with you." He's pulled away, but keeping himself steady with his hand still flat on the tile behind her. His free hand cups her cheek, but taps his index finger on her temple. "I won't go too far, and I'll stop whenever you ask me to, but I'd like to..."

It was so very alien of him, to ask to have a 'meeting of the minds' with someone not a Time Lord. He hadn't done this often with someone who wasn't, but right now it was something he nearly craved. "It's strange at first, but I'll be gentle and I promise I won't go searching too far." And then a tongue swiped his top teeth and he looks completely innocent, "You might even find it pleasurable."

Mina was a smart woman. Genius-level intellect, actually. A fact that she was often proud to share with anyone who listened. But in that particular moment and context, the way he was talking suddenly struck her as absurd.

She honestly didn't know whether he was joking or not.

"We have done this before, you realize," she said, giving him a rather uncertain look.

"Not for this intended purpose, no." He presses a kiss to her forehead, wishing he could explain it better. "I'm not searching for something or interesting in digging around. I want to feel something, and..." He purses his lips with raised eyebrows, "Well, I suppose experiencing it would suffice for an explanation."

And he takes a step forward, placing both hands with fingers overlying her temples and with closed eyes, pressing his forehead to hers, "Trust me. I won't hurt you."

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